Recreation Chapter 18: Hang Time

                                    

                                          



Fade in to the alien firing a minigun in the temple
                          
Sarge:    Grif, listen, we may not both make it out of this.
                          
Grif:    What?
                          
Sarge:    If you die, I think I'm prepared to live with that. I've practiced it a lot. But there's also a chance you might survive and I won't.
                          
Grif:    There'd be a better chance if you'd help me shoot.
                          
Sarge:    In case I don't make it, I can't help but think about all the future mistakes you're gonna make, that I'm not gonna be there to scream at you about.
                          
Grif:    Oh stop, I'm getting all teary-eyed.
                          
Sarge:    I just wanna let you know that in my bunk back at the base there's a recorder deck. I've prerecorded about fifty-seven hours of rants that should be applicable, in a variety of situations. Whenever you're feeling good about yourself, I want you to play one. And always remember, somebody hates you.
                          
The alien continues firing, but stops when Church shows up in front of him
                          
Church:    Oh hey, alien, what's up?
                          
The alien drops his chaingun and kneels, grunting as only these aliens can do
                          
Ghost: Everyone stop firing!
                          
Tucker:    Cease fire!
                          
Church:    Um, the alien's being weird in here.
                          
Grif:    What's it doing?
                          
Tucker:    No no, I've seen this before. Some of the aliens worship this ancient technology. This one probably thinks Church is some sorta God.
                          
Church:    Wow, seriously? That's pretty fucking cool.
                          
Ghost: The elites have always worshiped the Technology of the Forerunners
                          
Caboose: Who are the-
                          
Ghost: Shut up.
                          
Caboose:    Hhh- Maybe that's why your name is Church!
                          
Church:    Oh what's up praying dude? How do you like me now-
                          
Church levitates the box and rams it into the face of the alien
                          
Church:    Bip- aw!
                          
Tucker:    Doubleyou Tee Fuck, why did you do that? I think that's taking advantage of your diety status dude.
                          
Church:    Well what good is being a God if you can't smite some people? Let's have fun.
                          
Ghost: I'm with church... What I like to kill people... I think i'm part psychopath.
                          
This makes all the boys take a step back while the girls just stay by his side
                          
Voice:    The shots came from down here!
                          
C.T.:    Right, form up men!
                          
Sarge:    Whoa, incoming.
                          
Church:    Good luck guys!
                          
Church backs out of the way as the evil dudes show up
                          
C.T.:    Freeze! Lower your weapons.
                          
More guys show up, mostly aliens
                          
C.T.:    You... Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused me? I should kill you right here.
                          
Church:    Somebody's getting killed? I wanna watch.
                          
C.T.:    You activated it?
                          
Church:    Activated what?
                          
C.T.:    Secure the relic! Don't let it get away.