Fears

                                    

                                          
I took a deep breath, my eyes closed. 
                          
"Focus." Master Yoda's voice echoed through my mind. 
                          
I raised my right hand, holding it out towards a small plain crate on the floor. I felt the energy flowing through me and through the box and connected them, willing the crate to rise. 
                          
Something inside clicked. I opened my eyes and the box was floating above the ground. 
I grinned, but that joy quickly turned to fear. 
                          
The box started quivering. Then, suddenly, it burst, sending shards of shrapnel sailing towards me. 
                          
I raised my arms protectively, but the mangled metal never hit me. I lowered my hands and found the debris levitating a few feet away from me. 
                          
Master Yoda lowered his arm and the metal shards dropped with a clatter to the ground. 
                          
I kicked one aside in frustration. 
                          
Master Yoda sighed. "Let go of your fear, you must." 
                          
I looked away, a million thoughts racing through my mind. "I don't think I can." I walked out of the room. 
————
The clang of metal against metal echoed through the empty room. 
                          
I stood before a life-sized metal training dummy, whacking it relentlessly with my staff. I had kept my weapons from Lah'mu. They were the only thing I had left from the only life I'd ever known. 
                          
Master Yoda's words resurfaced in my mind when a paused to catch my breath. I smacked the metal figure with a loud crack, denting the simply formed head. 
                          
I kept at it, knowing that if I stopped, I would think; and if I thought, I might hurt someone. 
                          
"Are you okay?" Alana's voice startled me. 
                          
I whirled to face her, staff at the ready. Even after a month I wasn't used to being somewhere safe. 
                          
Upon seeing her, I lowered my weapon. "Sorry. It's nothing."
                          
Alana raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't look like nothing." She gestured to the massacred training dummy. It was littered with dents and I had actually broken its neck. 
                          
I looked at the floor guiltily. "The box blew up in my face again." 
                          
She grabbed my shoulders. "Don't worry. You'll get it."
                          
I pulled out of her grasp. "Not at this rate."
                          
Alana nodded. "What did master Yoda say?"
                          
I sighed. "That I need to let go of my fear."
                          
"Fear of what?" She pressed. 
                          
I shrugged. "That's the question. It could be a fear of letting everyone down, fear that they'll all let me down. Maybe I'm scared of myself, this power I have, or," I sighed, "Maybe I'm scared that if I go through with this, it'll put in a position to be taken again."
                          
"I think he means all of it." She gave me a half smile. 
                          
"Easier said than done." I sat on one of the benches scattered around the room. 
                          
She sat next to me. "Yeah, but you don't give up on something just because it's hard." 
                          
I met her gaze and, for the first time, I wasn't scared.