Chapter 12: Lassanayi

                                    

                                          


                          


                          
A/N: another scene you may have seen in 'Colors' from a new perspective
                          


                          


                          
Ellis offered his container of carrot sticks to River, who crunched into one with a thanks.

                          
"Did you decide?"
                          
"'m gonna do it."
                          
"That's great! Really, it is. It'll be amazing for you."
                          
"Bit nervous though. I'm not really an exhibitionist."
                          
"You don't have to be. Though you did just have a threesome. That's pretty exhibitionist-y."
                          
"Nah, it's not like getting on a stage or something like that guy did the other night."
                          
"Was hot though."
                          
"Yeah, was incredibly hot. Don't think I could do it like that, though."
                          
"That's okay, just make public scenes a hard limit. Not everyone scenes that way."
                          
River was excited at the prospect of training in submission, but he still wasn't sure he wanted to go at it the way Ellis and his friends did. He'd talked more with the others the day before, and it seemed like he could be a little more authentic to how he felt it might suit him if he didn't have a contract with a Dom. That way, he could take advantage of the way the sexual side to submission made his heart pound, and not even have to worry about being himself the rest of the time. Some of the way Jax, and even Ellis, despite the butler and the housekeeper, had described it made their lives sound a little nineteen-fifties-housewife and he wasn't sure he was ready – or ever would be – for that level of submission.
                          
"I'm meeting Gray in a bit. Why don't you come?"
                          
"Why?"
                          
"So you can ask him if he'll train you."
                          
"Don't I have to ask Master François?"
                          
"Yeah, but you have to be recommended. I can do it, but it'll mean even more if a Dom says you'd make a good submissive."
                          
Mat approached them as they lay on the warm summer grass of the quad. Even though school was over, River still had a few weeks in dorms – and a few weeks to decide what he planned on doing with the rest of his life – and the others had their rooms too, so they were still spending a lot of time at school. River had been making the most of it since school got out, and had written three musical compositions just last week, using the practice rooms as his own secret hideaway. From disturbances, really, honestly. Not from Mat. Well, only a little from Mat.
                          
Though, the weekend had been a chance for a new start. Sure, they'd fucked, and that probably wasn't the best idea, for either their friendship or River's heart, but the BDSM environment seemed to make it mean less, somehow. To remove the pressure of emotions. River was feeling better about it, anyway. And he didn't even flinch when Mat dropped down onto the grass and pulled him into a hug.
                          
"Okay guys, I've gotta go. River, come over if you wanna talk to him."
                          
"Talk to who?" Mat asked when Ellis had jogged off.
                          
"Master Gray."
                          
"Oh? Why?"
                          
"I'm going to ask about training. To be a sub."
                          
"You are? Wow. I didn't- you liked the other night, then?"
                          
"A lot," River admitted, though he couldn't quite bring himself to make eye contact.