I woke up excited for today. I was going shopping with May. But most importantly I was going to get away from Parker. I woke up, ate breakfast and May sped down the road to get to the mall. I could tell she was excited.
When we got to the mall I immediately dragged May to American Apparel. I loved that store so much. I bought two flannels, a couple t-shirts, 5 sweaters, a black leather skirt, and a choker. After that we went to American Eagle for jeans. We went to a couple more stores and then decided to stop for lunch. So decided I would eat a little just to make sure May wouldn't worry about me. She was a nurse after all.
After that I followed May around to a few stores she wanted to go to. Then I decided I to go to a shoe store on my own. I tried on a ton of shoes and ended up buying, 3 pairs of converses, 1 pair of vans, combat boots, heels, sperrys, and some ugg slippers. Expensive, but defiantly worth it.
When I walked out I took out my phone to see if I had received any texts. Then I bumped into someone.
But it wasn't just anyone.
It was Parker.
Fuck.
"I'm glad I bumped into you, I need to talk to you," he said.
"Parker we have nothing to talk about," I said and continued walking.
"Actually we have a lot to talk about Anastasia," he said and grabbed my hand.
"Stop it!!!" I yelled and ripped my hand from his grip.
People started staring to I lowered my voice.
"Don't you understand?! I'm trying to protect you! I want to die and I plan on doing so and I don't want to fall in love with someone and then walk out on their life. But I need to do this. I miss my mom. I miss my sister. They were the only light in my life and I need to be reunited with them. I need to be happy again. And leaving this hell of a life is the only way I'll get there," I
said, tears starting to stream down my face.
Parker hugged me. I didn't let go. I didn't back away.
"Anastasia. I want to give you a reason to live. You can amount to amazing things and I want to give you that chance. Please let me be apart of your life," he said, starting to cry a little bit as well.
"I need to go," I said.
"Anastasia no," he pleaded.
"Goodbye Parker Fields," I said and walked away.
I couldn't stop crying. I went into the parking garage and found the car. I texted May that I didn't feel well and that I'd gone back to the car.
I put down my phone and help my head in my hands and sobbed. I was falling in love. I was falling in love with the most amazing boy, but at the wrong time. What the hell was I going to do?
I wanted to start a relationship with him but I wanted to die so bad. What do I do?
I love Parker.
I loved everything about him.
The way he made my heart race when he grabbed my hand.
The way he put his hand through his hair when he got frustrated.
The way he smiled at me.
I loved everything about him.
But I didn't want to love him.
But here I was thinking about how much I did.
I stopped crying and just sat there blank faced and confused, not knowing what to do. Then May joined me in the car.
"Hey, you feeling ok?" she asked.
"Not really, I'll tell you later, right now I just need a nap," I said.
"Ok, I'll start driving," she said.
When we got home. I immediately went to my room and plopped on my bed.
What do I do?
YOU ARE READING
Searching for Death
Teen Fiction"I saw you sitting here, you the most beautiful little thing I've ever seen, depressed and alone. I looked into your eyes and I saw that you were going through some messed up shit and it broke me. I want to get to know you. I want to put light back...
