He doubted it though; he figured it was probably Angel or Leslie checking in for the day.
                          
"Hello?"
                          
"You sick of hiding out yet?"
                          
"You always know when I'm bored."
                          
"My Nick senses were a tingling!"
                          
"I'm fixing dinner, well I want to but I ain't got shit in the fridge. Come on over and we can go grocery shopping." Nick paused. "Wow I've gotten exciting." He remarked dryly.
                          
"Oh you know I'm up for that once in a lifetime opportunity!"
                          
"Hey Brian..."
                          
"Yeah..."
                          
"Leighanne isn't trying to cook tonight over there, is she?"
                          
Silence.
                          
Nick laughed. "I thought so. Hurry on over!"
                          
"Be there in a few."
                          
Nick hung up, and headed back towards the kitchen. A smile could be seen on his face, showing just the effect his best friend could have on him. Now he just needed to put everything away since he wasn't cooking just yet after all. A few moments passed as he paused once he was in the entryway. He glanced around, taking in everything around him.
                          
Why did I come in here again? He sighed, trying to think it out. He wasn't telling the others just how often small things like this were happening now. And that's how he saw them, as tiny inconveniences not worth mentioning. All it would do is make them worry and possibly hover over him more than they already were. As much as he loved everyone in his life he didn't think he could take much more worry and concern. It was slowly driving him crazy and reminded him of the reasons why he hadn't wanted anyone knowing. Of course, it was too late now. The disease was progressing too far to have hidden it even if he wanted to at this point.
                          
A knocking at the door saved him from any further pensive musings.
                          
Nick walked back out to the front door, looking confused to see Brian standing before him. Brian was smiling till he read the look on his face. Nick saw the immediate concern appear. Instead of letting Brian worry, he suddenly grinned as if he had known exactly why Brian was at the door. It was better than letting him think he forgot, he rationalized. All it would do is force Brian to brood on something none of them could change.
                          
"Let's go, you're driving right?" he asked, wildly guessing Brian was there to pick him up.
                          
He nodded, relief swept over his features. "Right."
                          
Nick followed Brian out to his navy blue 2015 Jeep Cherokee. Brian had always favored cars like this. Jeeps, Hummers, SUVs, Nick used to always joke that Brian was compensating for his shorter stature through his cars. Neither said anything as his friend started up the car and the two both buckled up. Nick still wasn't sure of where they were going. Not that it mattered, he knew Brian wouldn't do anything crazy or take him anywhere he didn't want to go.
                          
He just wished he could recall what was said, was all.
                          
As the car made its way out of the parking lot and onto the road, he reached over to turn on the radio. Country music was the first thing to invade his ears. He made a face, his hands twitching before immediately turning the knobs to find another station. He could see the corners of Brian's mouth twitch with amusement, but neither said anything. He settled on a station when System of a Down could be heard filtering through the speakers.
                          
"So which store did you plan on going to?"
                          
Nick's tongue ran over his lips thoughtfully. At least now he knew they were going shopping. He just couldn't pick a store because he didn't know what exactly they were going to get. He'd gotten better at leading people to give him clues for him to pick up on. It felt deceitful, hiding his problems so that they were lower key. "Doesn't matter, just pick one."
                          
"Alright!" He sang, and Nick groaned.
                          
"I love ya bro...but that joke's dead, buried, reanimated as a damn zombie, shot in the head and rekilled again."
                          
Brian laughed as he navigated the roads. "You love it, don't lie."
                          
"Uh huh."
                          
"So Nick, Kevin and I have been talking..." Uh oh.
                          
"Okay..."
                          
"Maybe we should start looking at...well..." Brian stopped at a red light. His gaze avoided Nick's and instead focused on the window behind him.
                          
"Well, what?"
                          
"...Well..." Brian bit his lip and his fingers drummed the steering wheel. He began to drive again once the light changed. "...because of stuff lately..."
                          
"Just say it man."
                          
"Places...for you to go, you know, when you can't..."
                          
When I can't take care of myself. Nick finished mentally. Homes for the mentally fucked up. He wasn't surprised the subject came up. That was why he'd named Brian as his guardian, why he'd named Kevin as the executor of his estate. If anyone needed to think about it, it would be them. But instead of thinking about that and how it made sense, he found himself upset. He could picture himself years from now staring out a window with a blank look in his eyes. He saw himself unable to eat or go to the bathroom because he couldn't remember why. He shuddered.
                          
"We don't need to talk about that right now." He spat out.
                          
"Look I wasn't trying to-"
                          
Nick turned in his seat quickly; his eyes met Brian's dead on. "You know what Brian? No one ever 'tries to', everyone's just sooooo concerned and sooooo worried yet y'all wanna shut me away in a mental home real quick huh?"
                          
"That's not it at all and you know it. You couldn't even remember I was coming, you don't even know for sure where we're going?"
                          
How the hell does Brian know that?
                          
"That ain't true, I know."
                          
"You don't, but I know you and didn't want to say anything. I know this is scary and this is..."
                          
"No! That's just it! You don't know! You don't have a fucking clue! All of you, you try to know, you tell me you understand, but unless you're fucking hiding a disease that rots your brain from the inside, you don't even have a hint of what the fuck I'm trying to deal with."
                          
"Nick...come on buddy...don't be like this."
                          
"Be like what? Fucked in the head? That's what I am."
                          
"That isn't fair Nick." Brian bit back shortly, his own patience waning.
                          
"Nothing is fair. Not for me. For you, someone who ain't had to deal with shit, I guess it is. So once again you don't have a damn clue." He ignored the flash of hurt that danced across his best friend's face within an instant.
                          
"You know what? Drop the pity party."
                          
"Just take me home."
                          
"Look..."
                          
"Just take me fucking home!" He screamed, unable to hold back anymore of the rage that boiled within.
                          
A part of him knew Brian didn't deserve this. He knew Brian was trying to do his best at the role he gave him to play. Logic however, he didn't want to consider. He was just so angry. So angry at the world, angry at the situation, and angry at himself. The fear he didn't want to admit to mixed carelessly into the swirl of emotions always bubbling just beneath the surface. He sneaked a glance at Brian. Brian, who drove with a controlled look on his face, biting his lip and held the steering wheel with a death grip.
                          
Neither said a thing more the entire way back.