december fourteenth

                                    

                                          
dear piece of tree,
                          
i can't wait for winter break. it confuses me why winter break starts on christmas eve, and not a week before. why keep children in class the week of christmas?
                          
it's also the week of eren's answer. i'm trying my best not to stress about it so i don't start my unhealthy habit of assumption, but there's only so much that you can withhold from yourself. i mean, eren deserves more than me, but if he was willing to settle down with me, it'd mean so much.
                          
i want to respect his decision. he has a right to say no, just as much as he has a right to say yes, and he has a right to take as much time to think about his answer. i was the one that caught him off-guard. like, if my best friend told me that they liked me and wanted to date, i'd need time too.
                          
did i mention that my parents forgot about my birthday? yeah, i did, but i'm gonna say it again.
                          
i'd hate to feel disappointed about it, since i've basically disowned them, but i feel disappointed. i mean, it was the day that my mom popped me out. the least she could do was remember it. she went through all that pain for nothing.
                          
mikasa remembered, though. she said that she had something planned for me the day before we left for france. i feel very touched. mikasa was younger than me, and we were half-siblings. it wasn't even required for her to remember it, but she did, and that meant that everyone else in the group knew too. i got a ton of questions and comments about how cool it is that my birthday is on christmas. i didn't know i was that special. i've never really thought of it like "another cool fact about me".
                          
l.a.