~1~

                                    

                                          


                          
~Tsukishima~
                          
Tokyo Central college is a lot less intimidating now then when I came here on the tours. Back then it seemed so big and daunting, yes tall guys like me can indeed feel daunted by things oh my god stop being heightist, but now it just seems so normal. I don't know why that is. The only thing that's changed between then and now is that now I'm a student here but, even so, it's still my first time coming back here since I got my acceptance letter so in theory it shouldn't feel as different as it does. Why am I even putting this much thought into this? It's probably to distract myself, thinking about it. I'm worried, in all honesty. The upside of coming to a college in Tokyo is that I won't have to deal with any of those damn liars from Karasuno anymore. However, the downside is that I don't know any of the first years here, as far as I'm aware, which means that I actually have to meet people. I haven't had to make new friends in three years now. Even after breaking off my friendship with my old team and distancing myself from them, I wasn't alone throughout my last two years of high school. Some of the people in my class, like, adopted me into their group after I explained what had happened with...him.
                          
He fucked me up so much worse then I ever could've imagined. That initial freak out when I found out back at volleyball practice? Just the tip of the fucking iceberg, in every sense of the word. The immediate aftermath was full of hurt, pain, and locking myself in my room for a week. I wouldn't eat. I spent most of my time sleeping. I dead ass refused to go to school for a whole month and, even once I came back, everything had changed. I cut ties with everyone from the volleyball team and completely started again. Can you blame me for that? They lied to me, especially him. So yeah, to this day I want nothing to do with them and that's why I applied to a university in Tokyo, so I could get away from him. He gave me too many trust issues to count and I'm not ready to risk getting more of them.
                          
There are people all around me, all walking in on the first day. The difference between them and me is that they're all walking together with other people in little groups of their own, presumably with people they've known since at least high school, some of them probably earlier, while I'm walking completely by myself. I must look like a right loner right now, walking alone with my headphones on. Is anyone staring? I hope they're not. Again, why do I care? I never used to care about people staring at me, I'd just tell them to go fuck themselves so why is it bothering me? Man, I'm basically a whole different person, why am I only just noticing this?
                          
Sighing to myself, I turn up my music just a little. The song is blood in the water from that legally blonde musical. My playlist has quite a lot of musical songs on it nowadays, I have Akane to thank for that. Akane and I became friends in our second year when we ended up with seats next to each other. Naturally, we got chatting and soon she made her way into our group. Then one day we had a group study session and she put on the soundtrack to avenue q and now I'm basically addicted to musicals, not that I'm complaining. It's just something new to consider a hobby since I dropped volleyball. Akane herself was part of the school's drama club, I came to the play to see her in both second and third year. I won't lie, she was pretty good. I wish we could've gone to college together but she went to one of the local ones instead. I couldn't risk going local in case I had to deal with him and his friends for another three years. I'll miss her though, even though we agreed to stay in touch.
                          
Anyway, I need to find out where the hell my dorm is. I got the email about it a few days ago, my room number is 103 but I have absolutely no idea where that is. Maybe I could ask someone for help? Yeah, that's a good idea. Hopefully I won't intimidate them so much that they run away, it's not like that's never happened before. Now just to find someone who looks like they could help me. It's a lot easier to tell who the older years are when you're in high school because there's usually somewhat of a height difference between them, except if you're a fucking string bean like me, but in college everyone's basically stopped growing so it's a lot harder to tell. Oh well, we'll probably get told where the dorms are at orientation. If I follow everyone else, I should find where that is and all.
                          
I hoist my bag up my shoulders, it's quite heavy considering how little I packed. I just packed a few clothes, enough to get me through a week before I have to do laundry, my laptop and various chargers and, of course, my school stuff. I wish someone would tell you how expensive the books are before you apply for college; I basically had to take out a mortgage just to afford the damn things. They're bloody heavy as well, it's quite irritating. Nah, fuck my previous idea, there's no way I'm carrying this damn thing all the way through orientation. Someone will be able to help me, right?
                          
After looking around for a bit, I spot a small, black haired boy leaning against a wall texting someone. Maybe he'll be able to help me. Besides, approaching a person who's stood alone is a lot less intimidating than approaching a whole group. "Excuse me?" I pull my headphones off, letting them hang around my neck, and walk over to him.
                          
He lets out a small squeak, probably of surprise, and looks up at me. "Y-yes?-..." He seems to calm down a little and looks at me almost as if he's examining me. I won't lie, it's kind of creepy. "...Tsukishima Kei, right?" Wait hold up, how does he know me? Should I know him? He certainly looks familiar but I don't know why, is that bad? I just nod, looking at him with a confused expression. He looks back at me for a second before speaking again. "Oh- sorry I probably just freaked you out... I'm Shibayama Yuki, we played against each other in volleyball back in our first year of high school."
                          
Oh, we did? Damn, the last time I played volleyball was three years ago so no wonder I don't remember him. What school was he from again? I don't actually remember playing against him in an official match, maybe he was a bench warmer? He can't be taller then five foot five so I assume he was a backup libero. "Sorry, I don't remember you that well." I smile down at him awkwardly. A couple of years ago, there's no way I would've been this nice straight off the bat but I'm in college now and I don't know anyone so having Shibayama as a friend maybe wouldn't be too bad. "What school did you go to?"
                          
"Sorry sorry, I probably should've told you that from the start." He smiled back at me. "I was a libero for Nekoma. You probably don't remember me though, I was mostly on the bench until Yaku san graduated and after first year you stopped showing up to matches." Well no shit, I quit the team. Oh wait, he probably doesn't know that. "Where did you go? That freckled guy replaced you as a middle blocker but he was never as good... not that I'm complaining! It just made it easier for us to beat you!...or something..." He looks down, almost in shame. It's kind of weird to watch. Does he have, like, internalised social anxiety or something? Nah, it's more likely to just be a fear of upsetting people. After all, he was chatting away happily just a minute ago.
                          
I shrug. "Nah, don't worry about complaining or whatever you were trying to say. I quit the team after... an incident that wasn't going to get resolved any time soon." Yeah I'm being vague but I don't particularly want to go into detail about it. Can you blame me for that? He's looking even more confused now; I think it's time to change the subject. "Anyway, can you help me out with something? I need to find out where the dorms are, there's no way I'm carrying this damn bag the whole way through orientation."
                          
He nods pretty quickly actually. I wasn't expecting him to give an answer that fast. "Yeah, they're off to the right behind the main building. I came here to visit my sister last year so I kind of know my way around." That's great and all but I didn't really ask. He laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyways... what's your dorm number? I'll walk you there if you want."
                          
Huh, now that's an offer I'll take up but only because I don't feel like getting lost. "Uhh sure thing, go for it. My dorm is number 103."
                          
His eyes widen for a second and then a smile creeps onto his face, slowly but surely. Well fuck me this can't be good. I mean, I wouldn't mind rooming with this guy, he seems pretty chill but somehow I have a feeling that that's not what he's smiling about. "Oh really? My friend Lev has that room number to." Wait no, you're kidding right? Oh my god, I don't remember much about Lev but I remember him being really fucking annoying. God, I hope he's joking. "Come on, it's not that far of a walk." He smiles over his shoulder at me and starts walking. I just follow behind him. Well, let's just hope that my maybe roommate has matured a bit since we last saw each other.