Ch. 44

                                    

                                          
Ava's pov
                          
I untangle myself from Jacob as I feel his lips on my neck, "No more babe, seriously. I'm sure my necks bruised enough with hickeys. I don't need a more difficult time attempting to cover up the hickeys."
                          
He kisses my neck instead and I let out a soft sigh, "I don't want to leave."
                          
"I know, I don't want you to either. My parents are leaving again this weekend, you're more than welcome to stay this weekend if you can manage to sneak out." 
                          
I pout, "That's a whole 3 days away."
                          
"I know, it's a while, but I'm free and we can hang all day during them." He says.
                          
"I hate this. I hate being away from you."
                          
"I don't enjoy it either babe. If I could, I'd let you stay the night every night. I hate that we have to have separation. I just like being able to hold you and feel you beside me. It feels so empty when you aren't here." He says.
                          
I feel empty when I'm not here and he's able to hold me and cuddle with me. I mean I feel happiest beside him, with him, and in his arms. Being away even for a few hours is hard. I know after how long we've been separated it's only going to hurt so much worse to not have him tonight.
                          
"What time is it?" I ask.
                          
"Nearly 1."
                          
"What time are your parents supposed to be back?" I ask.
                          
"Around 3." 
                          
"Would they buy it if you said I got here at 1 to hang?" I ask
                          
He lets lets out a small chuckle, "If your clothes weren't on the floor and both of us naked in my bed, maybe." 
                          
"Ok, what if I got dressed?" I ask.
                          
"I think the hickeys on your neck would raise alarm."
                          
I groan, "How bad is it this time?"
                          
This is far from the first time that we've had sex, it definitely won't be the last either. I'm not a fan of the aftermath of hickeys, but when he gets me on the neck, it always turns me on. We both know that. I may stay strong on no until he starts to kiss my neck, it's always yes at that point. 
                          
I've somehow managed to hide all the hickeys he's ever given me from my parents. I don't know how, but I have. Really, the only person who's seen beneath the make up was Maya. However her being the best sister literally ever, she didn't rat me out to my parents. It's been hard to hide them, but I've managed.
                          
I feel his fingers gently rub my neck as he stays silent, "Jacob, I said not to many." I say.
                          
"I didn't think it was that many, but I guess it was."
                          
I roll my eyes and get out of his bed and grab my clothes before heading to the bathroom. I get dressed before I decide to examine my neck to see a large area of purple, red, and blue just as he walks into the bathroom.
                          
"Next time, you're not even going to kiss my neck."
                          
"That's fair, I'm sorry babe." He says.
                          
I roll my eyes and walk back to his room. I grab my purse and walk back to the bathroom as he sits up on the counter beside the sink. 
                          
I turn my head to him, "You're lucky I love you and that the sex was worth it." 
                          
He gives a small smile, "So what I'm hearing is that I'm forgiven and good at sex."
                          
"Good for me." I shrug.
                          
"Oh come on, you know I'm good."
                          
"You've gotten better. The first time wasn't anything I want to remember."
                          
I unzip my purse and get my make up out and set it onto the sink beside him, "I think everyone's first time is bad. You've got to cut me a little slack too, I mean we were 14 and I hadn't exactly even watched anything like most teenage boys. I kinda had to figure out what you liked and roll with it."
                          
I take the caps off my make up and get started on hiding the hickeys, "Doesn't mean it was great babe."
                          
"Ok, fair enough."
                          
Not sure how he suddenly got better, but thank god he did. If it was still as bad as the first time, I think I'd rather ditch it all together than settle for that.
                          
"So you're not sore?" He questions.
                          
"No. I'm surprised too. I thought I'd for sure be with how long it's been since we've done anything. But I'm not. So that's a good thing."
                          
"Good, I hate when you're sore." 
                          
"It's always worth the aftermath." I shrug.
                          
I get the bruising hidden well before I put all the make up back into my purse and move in front of Jacob, "So?" I ask.
                          
He examines my neck in the light, "Hidden." He rules.
                          
I smile, "Good."
                          
"So I guess we should eat huh?" He asks.
                          
"I'm not really hungry. I'll probably wait until I get home because I know my dads going to make me eat with everyone after the fact I wasn't there last night." I say.
                          
"Well, if you can slip out this weekend, you can stay this weekend." He says.
                          
"I'll attempt to, but I'm not so sure I'll be able to sneak out. After Maya snuck out and what happened, happened, my parents upped the security measures by a lot. I don't think I'll just be able to sneak out like I once was." I say.
                          
"Maybe ask today if you can stay at a friends house this weekend? That way you'll be able to leave but actually come here instead of that friend?" He asks.
                          
"I'll try tomorrow. I don't want to make it seem to suspicious." I say.
                          
He nods understandingly and I sigh, "Ok, I need to get home. I told Maya I'd be home before 2."  
                          
"I understand. Text me?"
                          
"Of course." I say.
                          
He gets down from the counter and walks me out to my car and I give him a hug before I get into my car. I look at him as I start my car and feel my chest hurt. I know it's stupid. I know it's so stupid to miss a guy when I'll see him the next day. I don't know why it hurts this much, but it always does.
                          
I turn my head to make sure no ones behind me before I back out and then just back out. I turn my head to watch him walk into his house and begin the drive home. The further I get away from her, the more it hurts. 
                          
By the time I get home the tears are falling and I just sit in my car for a few moments trying to collect myself. Once I do, I walk through the front door to see my parents sitting on the couch with one another.
                          
"Hey Ava, I made lunch if you want any." Dad says.
                          
I ignore the hello and rush towards the stairs, "Ok no lunch then?" I hear him mumble to himself.
                          
I walk up the stairs as quickly as I can just wanting to get to my room and be alone. Once I'm upstairs I practically run to my bedroom. I close my door behind me and just let the tears fall yet again before I get into my bed. 
                          
Why does this hurt so much? I know I'll see him tomorrow. I know I'll text him all day today. I know he's fine. I know I'm fine. So why does this hurt so fucking much? 
                          
I know I'm over reacting. I don't think most people cry after they leave their boyfriend, so why am I? Why do I do this every time? Why do I do this? I don't understand why I do this.
                          
I lay down in my bed and get under my blankets and just stare at my wall as I feel the tears fall down my cheeks. The pain in my chest is more than it's been in a while and something I know isn't going to leave at all today. It'll linger around all day.
                          
It's not going to go until I see Jacob again, but then once I leave him we'll be back to square one. It's just a continuing cycle really. So I guess I just need to cry it out and wait until tomorrow.