-FOUR-

                                    

                                          
Alex's POV
                          
(You Don't Know - Katelyn Tarver)
                          
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I see my bandage and play with it. It's not as bad as the first time, it heals slowly. I'm tired of listening Heather's speech for a week. God, I can't shut her mouth. It flows like a river and it makes my ears hurt. 
                          
"Jeez, stop, H! It's not a big deal." I say.
                          
She's pacing back and forth. "It is, Lex. Do you know—"
                          
"H." My serious tone shuts her up. "Stop it. It's okay. I'm okay. She's okay. You need to stop lecturing me, okay? I'm fine. See, it's healing."
                          
She shakes her head in amazement. "Whoever this Logan is, she really has the biggest balls."
                          
I shrug nonchalantly. Who cares about Logan?
                          
She pauses to look at me closer. "Is she okay with the fact that you almost hit her?"
                          
"Oh my god, you ask that in seven days straight, H." I groan, really, how many times do I have to tell Heather that it's over and we're just fine? "And my answer is still the same. She's okay with it. She didn't even realize that I was about to hit her, so it's done. We were talking yesterday and she seemed okay."
                          
Heather sighs heavily, she needs to calm her tits down sometimes. "Okay. I believe you for now. Just tell me about tomorrow, okay?"
                          
I nod. "I will."
                          
"Where do you want to take her? You barely out, Lex."
                          
"The place I've always known."
                          
She seems to think but she doesn't ask me anything. "I have to go. Have a good night, Lex." She kisses my cheek.
                          
"Yeah, you too. Bye, H. Drive safe."
                          
She nods. "I'm sorry I can't sleep over."
                          
"It's okay."
                          
She gives me a small smile before she walks out from my apartment.
                          
I walk to my veranda and looking up to see the night sky. It's only 9PM and I'm eager to get drunk already so I grab a full bottle of vodka and serve myself.
                          
I light my cigarette and random things come up to my mind. What will I do after I graduate? Will I continue to go to the uni? I didn't even apply to any uni from the beginning of this senior year. Will I get a job? But, what's my dream job?
                          
I don't have all of the answers because I don't have a purpose in life anymore. I don't wanna think about tomorrow. I don't wanna deal with anything. I just don't. 
                          
My phone vibrates and I see Heather's name pops up from the screen telling me that she's home safe. I don't reply her instead I grab my vodka and drink it until a half of the bottle is empty.
                          
It feels good to feel numb because you don't have to feel anything that could possibly destroy you. I like this feeling. Free, numb and careless because it's the only way I could forget everything that hurt me.
                          
Heather calls me but I ignore it, she knows that I just left her message on read so maybe she's worry about me. Seriously, she's worry too much. Her life is like twenty four seven for me.
                          
In the morning she always texts me to ask if I have a nightmare or no, she will call me eventually and when the night comes, she always come over to check up on me to prevent me do something stupid. Come on, I'm not that crazy anymore.
                          
I know why Heather is so worry about me, I didn't blame her but sometimes I want to be on my own without anyone at all. I have to assure her that I will not do something to jeopardy my life again. I know she doesn't trust me after what I did but when I tell her that I will always be fine, I gain her trust again except for my drinking and smoking.