Here Comes The Harpers

                                    

                                          
Elias
                          
I stood on the ground as I looked at the swings as Brad Wilson hung upside down. Someone tapped me as I looked at Owen.
                          
"You do know our dads will hurt us when they find out what we did," Owen mentioned. 
                          
"The twit should have kept his hands off of Deacon," I signed with a shrug. 
                          
I watch Brad move his lips and wave his arms, but looked at him with boredom. Why do people think of yelling at me works? I'm deaf and turned off my hearing aids. Silence is golden, and in Brad's case, necessary. 
                          
Let me explain a few key details. My name is Elias Harper. I'm the oldest boy to Nora and Matthew Harper, and I was born deaf. I have two dipshit brothers, Nate and Deacon. Nate enjoys a beat down because he doesn't leave me alone. Deacon can't stay out of trouble because well, he's Deacon and a dumbass. 
                          
I felt a tap on my back and turned around to see Dad standing there, shaking his head. He pointed at my ears. I rolled my eyes and turned on my hearing aids. 
                          
"Why?" Dad asked. 
                          
"Why not?" I asked. 
                          
"Elias, every time you get into with the Wilson kids, I have to bail you out. Do you want to end up in juvie?" Dad asked. 
                          
"Are you threatening me with a good time?" I asked. 
                          
That's not the thing you say to my dad. It seems he lacks a sense of humor as he dragged me home, using my shirt as leverage. What can I say? I'm my father's child or someone else's child. My bet is on cousin Markus. Shh, don't tell Dad. 
                          
*******
Matt
                          
When I thought about kids, I didn't plan on having three unruly boys with smartass mouths. I questioned Nora if she had some secret fling with Markus. That earned a look. 
                          
I dragged Elias into the house as Nora came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands. Nate and Deacon came walking down the hallway, saw me, then turned. 
                          
"Freeze!" I yelled, making the boys stop. I released Elias and shoved him at his brothers. "Which one of you pain in the asses caused this mess with Brad Wilson?"
                          
Elias and Nate pointed at Deacon. I looked at my boys incredulously. So much for them having each other's backs. 
                          
"Look, stay away from the Wilson boys. It's bad enough I have to deal with their asshole father," I told the boys. 
                          
"Well, he did create asshole sons," Nate said. 
                          
I gave Nate a look as Elias smacked him upside the head.
                          
"In my defense," Deacon said. 
                          
"You don't have a defense. You're twelve and might not live to see thirteen," I told Deacon. 
                          
"You're all grounded until we get sick of all of you hanging around the house," I said as the boys groaned. 
                          
The boys stormed to their rooms as they fought to go to their places. I heard giggling. I looked at Nora. 
                          
"Your fault. You forgot the raincoats," Nora told me. 
                          
"I still say Markus had something to do with this," I mentioned. 
                          
I got a candy dish thrown at my head. I ducked as Nora went into the kitchen. 
                          
"Love you!" I yelled. 
                          
"Screw you!" Nora yelled. 
                          
Here's what I learned about parenthood; it's a damn trap. You start with these sweet angels who turn into holy terrors. You hope they don't kill each other. That's wishful thinking on our part. 
                          
Welcome to fatherhood.
                          
********
Markus
                          
I heard a crash and went to see what the boys did now. I came to the room to see a broken bed with Jayden and Kayden standing there. I put my hand over my face and shook my head. 
                          
"Why?" I asked, lowering my hand. 
                          
"Well, I told Jayden to catch me. He missed. The bed was a casualty," Kayden answered. 
                          
"Did it ever occur to you that beds are to sleep and not part of the circus? Oh, I forgot, this is my circus, and you're my monkeys," I retorted. 
                          
"We're not monkeys," Jayden mentioned, looking at Kayden, who shrugged. 
                          
Okay, maybe I should explain something. Hayden and I adopted twin boys. We thought, hey, let's have a family. We didn't know the twins would turn out, not the brightest bulbs in the pack. 
                          
Matt said it was payback for my secret rendezvous with Nora. Matt's an idiot, but I digress. I'm sure Matt was there when he knocked up Nora. While I dealt with Tweedledum and tweedle dumber, Mason has his hands full. 
                          
*******
Mason
                          
"Are you shitting me?" I barked. 
                          
"I don't think that's possible," Owen answered. 
                          
"It could be possible, but doubtful," Oliver added. 
                          
"Stop talking," I ordered, ready to throttle my boys. "Who told you it's a fantastic idea to hang Brad Wilson on the swing set?" 
                          
"I shall not tell a lie; it was Nash," Owen answered. 
                          
I looked at Owen and wanted to hurt him. My boys can't tell the truth if it bit them in the ass. 
                          
"That's a lie. It was Grayson," Oliver replied. 
                          
I glared at my boys, who stood there like they did nothing wrong. "You're grounded and never seeing the light of day," I said. 
                          
"What?" Both yelled. "That's not fair!"
                          
"Then tell the damn truth for once in your godforsaken lives!" I barked. 
                          
"Well, I guess grounding it is," Owen retorted. 
                          
I want to hurt my boys, but Skylar won't let me. If they don't end up in the clink, it will surprise me. If I survive the teen years, I'll be lucky. If my boys stay it, it'll be one hell of a miracle. 
                          
******
Casey
                          
I came home to hear much yelling and swearing. I tried to sneak out when Larissa caught me. I turned to face my wife. "Hi, honey," I greeted her. 
                          
"Don't hi honey me. Do you know what our boys did?" Larissa asked me. 
                          
"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me," I mentioned. 
                          
"They superglued the teacher to his seat and got suspended," Larissa told me. 
                          
"We hung banshees on a basketball net," I reminded Larissa. She pursued her lips and gave me a look. 
                          
I looked at the boys who waited for me to say something. 
                          
"You're grounded," I said. 
                          
"What?" Nash yelled. 
                          
"It was your idea!" Grayson yelled. 
                          
Larissa crossed her arms. 
                          
"Well, uh, um, bye," I said, leaving. Yeah, I'm not dealing with that train wreck I call my sons. I know that I'll catch hell later, but sometimes a father needs a break. 
                          
I went to meet up with Matt, Markus, and Mason. When things get too rough at home with the boys, we escape. Yeah, our spouses would hurt us later, but it was worth it. 
                          
Here comes the Harpers and then some.