40 | In My Memories

                                    

                                          
True End
Shouto Todoroki


                          
"Hey. I trust you to do the right thing," Bakugou informs me before ensconcing my lips in his as if he's preparing to devour me whole.
                          
My fingers prowl around the somewhat coarse forest of Bakugou's coal-black hair tipped off in an electric yellow, the small fibers grown into thin, vine-like tendrils parting away from my touch. Curling my fingers into the rough, ashen hairs, they scrunch together between my fingers and palms like straw. My grip only tightens as a mere moment later, our tongues act as feral animals battling for survival under the reposeful night sky.
                          
All is broken, however, upon an emphatic snarl of what seems to be discomfort spewing from Bakugou's mouth. I release him from my grasp to inspect for the cause of his abrupt outburst, yet nothing in the world might have steeled me for the sight of a deep scarlet hue sputtering feverishly from Bakugou's neck that a dagger of ice protrudes from.
                          
The frigid blood circulating through my being from my exanimate heart is now the baleful gasoline to a belligerent flood of fire. Witnessing Bakugou wounded fatally by his own hands awakens a resting world of memories that I had previously perished to the depths of my mind in an act of purging the majority of that which hindered my performance as an assassin. My functional eye dilates, while my dysfunctional eye masked by an eyepatch and the length of the black fringe draping over it twitches.
                          
Through the blazing barrage of memories lies one scorching fragment that inserts itself into my mind like a disc into a video player. Groggy awareness. Small footsteps in the hall. A frantic voice whispering. Step, whisper... Whisper, step... A begrudging utterance tainting surreptitiously. The whistle of a thousand chirps in harmony. Mom. Whisper... Tick... Quivering and steaming. The kettle.
                          
"Shouto, NO! I'm so sorry!"
                          
Lethal crystals of ice seared my left eye.
                          
A strangled shriek pierced the air.
                          
Billowing flames pour from my left palm as a sheath of ice slips over Bakugou's bloodied neck. Wriggling wisps of scarlet flood down his chest and leap into the air.
                          
"Katsuki!" I squeak, my voice a strained, attenuated sob of vehemence and boiling emotion as I choke momentarily on my unsteady breath.
                          
Forget it. Forget it! Katsuki, is this how you felt when I jumped? I never...realized. I forgot how detrimental emotions are. They're coming back to me. I never wanted to recover them. Impetuous do they make me. Tch. This familiar pain is repulsive. My heart is...on fire. Why...does it hurt? Katsuki... 
                          
"Katsuki, I was completely unaware... I..." In the midst of my brooding, a rippling liquid spills out across my eyes, liquefying the world until the brief snapping of my eyelids expels the liquid. The tears pouring from my eyes are warm, yet their warmth is revoked by the advancing rain splattering across my cheeks, slapping across my clothing, and slithering through my hair. Even the eyepatch concealing my left eye is saturated with the wetness of the rain and my tears.
                          
Tears? I ask myself, shoveling Bakugou into my arms as his hands, like noodles, limply hug my hips. It has been over two years since I last shed tears. Katsuki, what was all of this for? What were all those words you gave me? What did any of it mean? Is this truly what you desired? Was it never love which brought you into my arms? Was this your ultimate end goal? No. It couldn't be. Katsuki. Katsuki, you became the sole reason I had to live. When you told me you loved me after all of that, it was different from Midoriya's confession when we were young. Those words forced me to reconsider what love was. I knew... When you uttered those simple words to me, I became cognizant that I truly loved you in a way I had never experienced before. Under those of the League, my love only grew. You became everything to me. But I never realized that my love would lead to this... Is this how you felt? Katsuki, is this how you felt?