Chapter 51: Solace.

                                    

                                          


A/N:
Bonjour everyone. This is going to be a bonus chapter. I initially didn't want to do it but there were so many things I needed to clear out before the epilogue. So here it is. The epilogue will follow soon. 
                          
             
                 I stir awake, my heart pounding against my chest. My fingers entwine with his harder. Sweat coats my forehead and I bite the inside of my cheek, I'm holding myself from breaking down. I can't breathe, I'm trying to force air into my lungs. I hold onto him harder  I'm afraid to let go. It takes several moments for me to breathe again. I'm rubbing my cheek to his arm, my hands holding his arm tighter. I feel his gaze on me, he's waking up. 
                          
 His gaze shits to my chest and it instantly hardens against him. I press my legs harder to stop the scent of me leak into the air. I feel embarrassed of the way I react to him, I lose all control when it comes to him. He brushes his lips against mine. My eyes flutter involuntarily. "Mara" he whispers, his voice tugging me at the base of my stomach. My gaze is fixed on the night sky, the tiny stars that illuminated the sky. He puts his hands on my side, and holds himself above me. "What's wrong?" The back of his fingers caress my face as his eyes look into mine. 
                          
My face flushes as his fingers brush against my cheek. I suddenly feel shy of my condition, I'm sprawled against him, the sheets are a soiled tangled mess beneath us. My chest heaves with unease, water leaking out of my eyes. His necklace swings in between us. It's our wedding ring. So much happened in such little time. My bare finger haunts me. There's so much that we've lost. Realization hugs my gut. I could've lost him. I could've lost my my life. 
                          
My hands wrap around his back. I'm pressing my cheek to his chest. I can't make myself speak. I'm longing for him. For every piece of him. For every single minute I didn't get to spend with him. "Tesoro" a small rumble leaves his lips. He's unable to speak. He caresses my hair as he rests his head on the pillow. My shoulders start to shake as I place small kisses around his chest, making my way upto his neck. Then his jaw. I'm slow. My kisses are antagonizing. Concern fills him. "Mara" he breaths out deeply. He holds my wrists. Moonlight fall into his eyes. "You're scaring me Tesoro, talk to me" I'm trying to push words out of my mouth. He waits for me. 
                          
No words come out of my mouth. Helplessness is written all over his face. Anger replaces it as quick as it can, my male can't hold his temper.  "Why don't you tell me what had happened Mara? Every night, since two months, you keep having these nightmares and there's nothing, nothing that I can do" my shoulders shake as frustration leaks out of his voice. If he'd knew, it'd break him. If I'd tell him, I'll hurt myself more. Those memories are so painful that they break me every time I even try to think of them. Silent tears falls onto my cheeks. He runs his fingers through his hair, cursing. 
                          
He picks me up gently putting me onto his lap, hands holding my face. He presses his lips onto mine gently. "I'm sorry" he whispers, his forehead resting onto mine. Warmth surges into me. I put my arms around his. I close my eyes at the feel of his hand on my cheek.  "I can't see you like this. It hurts me"  his voice is soft. "I understand that you're not ready. I can only imagine the things they've done to you. I'm trying my best to find them and the day I will, I'll make them eat their own own hearts"  my shoulders shake again as he holds me to him, thumb caressing my cheek.  "But you must understand this my heart, I feel helpless. I've never felt so helpless before" I wish I could tell him. I wish I was strong enough. 
                          
"She told me..." my voice breaks. He looks at me. "About Danielle" his eyes somehow turn menacing at the mention of her name. His wild remembers her name as a threat to us. "You killed her?" "I didn't intend to. She was my sister" his voice drops. "But my wolf didn't want to show mercy. He hated her since the day she started to want us. The day he learnt that she played with us to separate us from our mate, my wolf saw red. He went for her throat. There was no other option" my eyes shut. I take his hands in mine. "I'm sorry for what happened. For what you had to go through"