Ice Packs

                                    

                                          
TW: This chapter has depictions of both verbal and physical abuse (not very descriptive). If those things are damaging to your mental health, please be cautious! 
                          
The summer started off with a bang. Every second you weren't at work or with Kid, you spent with the Pogues. Fishing, dancing, drinking. There was nothing else like it in the world. Truth be told, when it came to you and JJ around the Pogues, you struggled to keep your hands off of each other. Even if it was just his hand on your knee or your legs draped over his, you were never apart. None of the Pogues mentioned it, but it clearly didn't bother them.
                          
There was no initiation. They never said that you were one of them and you weren't sure if they were ever going to, but they treated you like it.
                          
You spent an entire night hearing their stories, listening to the things that caused them pain. By the time you had heard everything they each had to say, you were trying to cover up tears that ran down your face.
                          
When they all turned to you, your heart started to hammer in your chest.
                          
"You don't have to say much," Kie said, taking a drink of her beer. "Just know that you can trust us with anything and everything. Pogues don't keep secrets from each other, especially not the ones that hurt."
                          
You were sure that was the closest you were ever going to get to being called one of them and it made your heart bleed.
                          
Face lit up by the firelight, you told yourself that you could trust these people. You may have only known them for a few weeks, but it felt like a lifetime. Were you really supposed to spend the rest of your life trusting no one except Kid? That didn't sound like a life you wanted.
                          
When you opened your mouth, it all spilled out like water. The shouting, the manipulation, the lies, the hitting, the phone checks. You told them everything you could think of. Well, almost everything. You couldn't find the heart to tell them about the truth behind your mother's departure, about the lingering touches or the constant fear. Another wave of tears was running down your cheeks by the time you finished. Unflinching, your voice didn't even break.
                          
As you finished, staring deep into the fire, afraid to meet the eyes of the others, you felt your stomach squeeze. You didn't breathe again until JJ put his hand over yours. You looked over at him, fresh tears in your eyes. He squeezed your hand once as you sucked in short, shallow breaths.
                          
"That's me," you said, finally turning back to the others with an attempt at a smile. "Got any more beer, John B?"
                          
***
                          
After a long day of being out in the marsh and hanging by the beach, you and the Pogues retired to John B's house. Laying out in the hammocks was relaxing, the cool night air calming your buzzed nerves. Kie strummed on a ukelele by the large tree, Pope half asleep with his head in her lap. John B stretched across one of the hammocks with you and JJ shared the other one.
                          
You could feel yourself drifting to sleep and if it wasn't for JJ poking you in the shoulder with his toes, you probably would have.
                          
"If you don't stop, Maybank...." You grumbled, eyes closed.
                          
"You'll what?"
                          
"I'm going to vomit," Pope mumbled from the ground.
                          
"Why don't you call him JJ, Elm?" John B asked, sitting up on his elbows.
                          
"Because," you said, glad for the darkness as your cheeks began to turn red. "Just because."
                          
JJ tucked his hands behind his head. Even in the dark, you could see the smirk on his face as he continued to poke your shoulder.