Chapter 15

                                    

                                          
Staring up at the ceiling of my bedroom in the chalet, it was late in the night and I was restless. My stomach was in knots, I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.

                          
Why did I have to go and mess things up? My life was getting better and now... Yasmin, oh God Yasmin. 

                          
I sat up not being able to lay any longer, the room felt suffocating. I staggered to the living room, my head pounding from the sudden movement. 

                          
Gripping onto the door frame, I waited until the dizziness passed. I slumped onto the nearest sofa, grabbing the remote and switching in the tv. I needed something, anything to distract me from the nagging feeling in my chest. 

                          
I had no idea what to do, the tv was not helping matters. My mind kept drifting to Yasmin.

                          
What was she doing now?
                          
Is she okay?
                          
What if she hates it there?
                          
What if she's crying?

                          
Oh God. I got up from the sofa and headed outside. I sat on the hammock, the cool Abuja breeze washing over me. Not that it provided any relief. 
                          
The only comfort I got was from the sway of the hammock which slowly lulled me to sleep. 

                          
                        ****************

                          
Taps on my shoulder jolted me up and I almost fell off. Getting on my feet, I noticed the sun was already up.

                          
How long was I asleep, no, did I really sleep outside the house?

                          
I turned my attention to the maid in front of me. 
                          
"Yes?" 
                          
"Hajiya wants to see you now." She said and left. I sighed going back in. Freshening up, I looked at myself in the mirror. 

                          
Fuck.

                          
My eyes were red and the pounding headache from yesterday was getting worse. The circles around my eyes were getting darker. I exited the bathroom and headed over to the main house.

                          
"Salaam Alaykum. Good morning Hajiya" I whispered walking into the dining room.

                          
"Wa Alaykum Salaam" she answered ignoring my greeting. I stood there, my hands behind my back as I stared at her, having her breakfast.

                          
A maid brought my breakfast and I realised it was Atine. My heart clenched up realising by this time, she would have brought a sleepy Yasmin to the dining room.

                          
Our eyes met and she quickly looked away not before I saw the anger in them.

                          
Great, even the maid is angry at me.

                          
"Sit" Hajiya voice pierced through my thoughts and I approached a chair and sat. 

                          
I wonder what Yasmin is going to eat for breakfast? 
                          
Would she get her Coco Pops? 
                          
Would they even give her breakfast? 
                          
Would they starve her? Would she have to fight for her food?

                          
I had to control myself from throwing up on the table, closing my eyes and concentrating on my breathing.
                          
 Having a panic attack here was not going to help me. I pushed the food away as my heart beat slowed.
                          
"Are you even listening to me?" Hajiya asked irritated.
                          
"S...sorry." I whispered looking down at my shaking hands.