17. April 2019.

                                    

                                          
 I don't know how to write when I'm laughing and not to be cliché with haha. I was laughing today so much because Will is crazy, well I wanted to say crazy insane but then that would be too much. Exactly! He is too much but in a good way. 
                          
	I was on time, I started warming up but he was late. After ten minutes I was taking a break and I kept one eye on the entrance but still nothing. In just a minute he finally appeared. He was looking at me with a confused look and so did I but my look was telling 'What took you so long?' but then he explained. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Italy?" "What? I'm traveling on Friday as I told you. Today is Wednesday, you know that, right?" Will forgot about me, he said so himself. The whole hour I was teasing him about Friday and how he forgot about me. "I could swore that you are in Italy." I was laughing, it was so hilarious. As he was talking about the sneakers I saw how tired and exhausted he is. He got cold and canceled all of them but one, that's why he's here. He so did not count on me. I was laughing, he was laughing but there is something about his smile. It is so big and genuine and I just can't get enough of it. "So, are we having training on Monday?" I asked him but... "But you're in Italy?" "I'm coming back on Sunday, I told you." "But you said you're going to Rome." "Yes, in May!" I don't know how to explain the next ten minutes. We were just... You had to be there. It was madness, but before all of this madness and while we were still alone I told him something personal. I liked what he told me and the way he said it, he lowered his voice. I love the way he is, he is such a sweetheart. I know that I can tell him anything and one day I will tell him the story behind my tattoo. He's the reason I am the way I am now, he is also a part of that story. I read those pages of his book but damn it I cried. I also found myself in it but I read something personal that he wrote and it hurt me. I felt his emotions, the way he wrote it, it is so personal and painful, it seriously hurt me. I felt his pain, it was mine for a moment and then I started crying. I kept reading and my eyes were blurry with tears that kept falling on my cheek. There is so much pain in that man where I also found myself. It was so hard to read but I read it three times. He has fears that I also have but I never accepted them until now. I don't know if I can tell him what I think about it, I don't know if I can. I want to text him that I read it and that we can talk about it over a coffee next week but I am not sure if I should do it or if I should tell him at all. I don't want to lie to him but then I can't tell him what I think about it. I don't know how he'll interpret it and also I am scared that I may start crying.