Chapter 2

                                    

                                          
Mom wakes me up early on Saturday morning. 
                          
"I'm going out for some grocery shopping for today, do you want to come with me?"
                          
"Mom it's too early for this"
                          
Charles emerges from behind her. 
                          
"I'm coming with you if you promise to let me drive."
                          
"You don't even have a license yet," I interject. 
                          
"Dad let me drive his car the other day."
                          
My heart sinks. In all my years of being a capable driver my father has never let me drive his car. 
                          
"You might scratch it Maya," he would say. 
                          
"I'll stay and make breakfast mom, you can go with Charlie."
                          
After Charles and mom leave, I go downstairs and start preparing breakfast. I can hear my father's footsteps as he comes downstairs and I quickly put my earpods in my ears just to avoid conversation. 
                          
I turn around to face the window so that I do not have to look at him when he enters the kitchen. 
                          
"Maya?" I can hear his voice faintly behind all the music.
                          
"Maya?" his voice is much louder the second time so I act startled.
                          
"Dad, hi, sorry. My music is too loud I couldn't hear you."
                          
"How did you sleep"
                          
"OK"
                          
He picks up the newspaper and starts browsing through the pages.
                          
"The Steins are coming over this evening, remember Larry? You guys used to play together all the time when you were kids. He is coming too, I thought it would be nice if you guys would catch up tonight. He is in college now studying Medicine. He is a very decent young man"
                          
This makes me uncomfortable. My father and I hardly ever talk, and now here he is making suggestions about boys. This feels very weird.
                          
"Breakfast will be ready soon." 
                          
I put my earpods on as a sign that I have pulled out of the conversation, and I continue to make breakfast. 
                          
***
                          
The house starts to fill up with some of our family friends and other new faces. 
                          
After a few minutes of fake smiles and greetings, I go up to my room. I cannot stand watching my father parading my mother around as if everything is just perfect. Although the abuse is less common now, there have been days where my father has had a bad day at work, and has released all his anguish on my mother. And I have lay in my bed helplessly, listening to my mom being thrown around in their bedroom.
                          
I am about to start reading Midnight Sun when Charles comes into my room. 
                          
"Hi hermit crab."
                          
"Hi goofball." 
                          
"Can I ask you something?"
                          
"Shoot."
                          
"If mom and dad were to separate, who would you live with"
                          
"Probably mom, why?"
                          
"I don't know, I just feel like mom is not happy or something."
                          
A part of me is aware that Charles is mature enough to see how messed up our family is , no matter how hard our parents try to conceal it, but at the same time, my big sister instincts are telling me to lie to him, to tell him that everything is fine and that he has  nothing to worry about.