||seven||

                                    

                                          

°hana°
                          
"kwon soonyoung!" i called him who was sitting on a bench, admiring the starry sky. 
                          
he looked at me and smiled his beautiful smile. he ran towards me and wrapped his arms around me, englulfing me into a tight hug. 
                          
i wrapped my arms around him and burried my face onto his chest as i allowed tears to escape my eyes. 
                          
"what's wrong, hana?" he frowned as he pulled away. he cupped my cheeks with both his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumb. "have you been well? I'm sorry i couldn't go with you to the hospital. something came up" 
                          
i just stared at him as tears continued to cascade down my cheeks. 
                          
"hey, hey, hey, stop crying, hana banana. i'm not used to seeing you cry like this" he pouted. 
                          
he's right. I've never cried this much ever in my life since kindergarten when wonwoo tore the head of my barbie doll from its body. little bitch. 
                          
"what's wrong, hana banana?" soonyoung gently asked. 
                          
"soonyoung, i love you" 
                          
"i love you too, hana. what's wrong?" 
                          
"no" i shook my head. his worried expression shifted into a confused one. "not as a sister. i love you" 
                          
"hana, i—" 
                          
"eversince we were kids, i've always had a crush on you. i thought it was just a childish crush and that the feelings would fade as we grow older but no. the feelings only grew" 
                          
i looked up at him and he was staring at me with sadness in his eyes. 
                          
"i've loved you like this for a long time, kwon soonyoung"
                          
"h-hana, you know i love soojin" he furrowed his eyebrows.
                          
i got on my knees and sobbed. "i-i know but-"
                          
i don't care if i seem desperate, because i am. i want to live. honestly, i'm not ready to die but i can't let go of him. i just can't. i love him too much.
                          
"hana, get up" he held my shoulders and tried to lift me up. i added weight onto my legs so i don't leave the ground. "hana, i don't like seeing you like this"
                          
"please love me, soonyoung" i cried shamelessly. "please love me while it's not too late. i-i'll give you everything, i promise. soonyoung, please"
                          
"hana" he sighed before bending down so he's the same level as i am. "i'll always love you, but not in the way you want me to. please stop crying, flower"
                          
"how do you expect me to not love you when you treat me like that?" i whispered to myself but it was loud enough for him to hear. "please.. just love me because i can't let you go nor leave you"
                          
"you don't have to leave me, flower. eventually, your feelings will fade and we'll be able to go back to how things were" he brushed my hair away from my face. the light touches of his fingertips on my skin did little to no help at all. if anything, he made it harder for me. 
                          
"you don't understand, soonyoung"
                          
"it'll be fine, hana banana" he smiled at me warmly and planted a soft kiss on my forehead, making me cry even more. 
                          
"you're right" i forced a smile. "it was selfish of me to ask you to love me"
                          
i felt a sharp pain in mt lungs and throat. as if thorns were piercing through my skin, begging to be let out. 
                          
i gasped for air and gripped onto my stomach, hoping for the pain to stop. 
                          
i dont have much time left.
                          
i pushed soonyoung away so he wouldn't have to see how much of a mess i have become because of a silly thing called love. i faced the other way and started coughing harshly. this time, not only petals and blood came out. a full flower did.
                          
"shit" i mutter.
                          
i stood up, tears only lightly streamed down my face. "i'm sorry, soonyoung"
                          
"why are you sorry?" he frowned. "you did nothing wrong"
                          
"i don't have much time left, i have to go" i smiled sadly and wrapped my arms around him. he did the same. his  heartbeats were music to my ears that brought me peace and tranquil. 
                          
"i don't know what you're talking about" he softly said into my ear.
                          
"just shut up and continue to hug me"
                          
"yes ma'am" 
                          
"thank you for everything, kwon soonyoung. i love you, and maybe in my next life, you'll finally love me back" i whispered the last part.
                          
"hey, don't say that. you're like saying that as if you'll die soon" he chuckled. "i love you too"
                          
"take care of wonwoo, okay?"
                          
"yah, stop it. it's not like you're leaving anytime soon. you're giving me goosebumps" he lightly hit my back several times. 
                          
i chuckled before finally pulling away from him. "goodluck on your debut, i'm sure you'll be a star one day, hoshi"
                          
"hoshi?" soonyoung asked. 
                          
"it means star in Japanese" 
                          
"so you're finally embracing your Japanese side? it's about time, hanami" soonyoung chuckled. "i'll write a song about how much i love you and wonwoo" he joked and winked.
                          
i chuckled lightly and hit his shoulder. "please do. it's getting late, soonyoung. i need to go back. don't miss me too much"
                          
"impossible" he smiled and hugged me once more. "i can't wait for you to watch me on stage one day"
                          
i'm sorry, soonyoung.
                          
"i will" 
                          
i pulled away and wiped the remaining tears on my face. i smiled at him sadly and tucks my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "goodbye, kwon soonyoung"
                          
"see you soon, hana banana. get home safely"
                          
i removed the ring that was on my finger. i grabbed soonyoung's hand and placed the ring on his palm. "keep it. don't lose it or else my spirit will haunt you forever"
                          
"hana.." he frowned. "why?" 
                          
i just smiled and slowly walked away with tears still in my eyes. 
                          
goodbye, soonyoung.
                          
i ran towards the car as i continuously coughed up full flowers. i quickly entered the car and shut the door. 
                          
"hana" wonwoo hugged me tightly. he pulled away and looked at me in confusion and horror "i-is that a full flower?"
                          
"it's time, wonwoo" i said weakly, leaning onto his shoulders. "i can finally rest" 
                          
my vision started to blur and i continuously coughed up flowers.
                          
"already? it's too soon, hana" wonwoo's voice cracked because of the tears in his eyes. "don't leave yet"
                          
"i love you wonwoo,  i'm sorry" were the last words i was able to say. 
                          
my body became numb and i started to lose my vision completely. 
                          
the last things i heard were wonwoo's miserable cries, begging me to come back.
                          
i love you, kwon soonyoung.