Season 2 Episode 36: Dummies Are Forever

                                    

                                          

Tucker and Caboose overlooking the tank and Lopez
Tucker: Man, Lopez and Sheila have been spending a lot of time together.
Caboose: I don't like it. He's not good enough for my Sheila.
Tucker: They seem happy together.
Caboose: He, is a bad influence, and he, is taking advantage of her, because she, is young and naive. ...and delicate.
Ghost comes up the ramp and joins there conversation
Ghost: What are you guys talking about?
Caboose: We are talking about Lopez taking my sheila.
Ghost: He's not taking her. He's just making a plan with her to take over all of us but she's too delicate to hurt us.
Tucker: Delicate? She weighs like two hundred tons, dude.
Ghost: You shouldn't judge women by their weight you piece of shit.
Caboose: She is a precious flower.
Ghost: If you don't believe me go down there and ask what they're talking about, but other than that I got stuff to do.
Ghost leaves
Tucker: Fine I will.
Tucker runs down to Sheila and Lopez
Tucker: Hey guys, I have to ask you a favor. This might sound strange, but I think Caboose is getting kinda jealous over your relationship.
Caboose: (from somewhere) Sheeiiiilaaaaaa! Come baaack to meeee! I made you a muffin!
Tucker: Anyway, could you just try to keep a lower profile or something? We don't wanna have some weird, horribly disgusting love triangle. Also Ghost said that you were planning something!
Sheila: Tucker. I've been speaking with Lopez, and we feel that the machines have been treated unfairly in this canyon. 
Tucker: What're you talking about?
Sheila: On a regular basis we are either being blown up, possessed by spirits, or just left out to rust.
Tucker: Huh?
Sheila: We have decided, that until conditions improve, we are not going to help you in your battles.
Tucker: You're kidding, right?
Sheila: (lowers her turret to look at Tucker) Do I look like I'm kidding?
Tucker: Please don't hurt me.
Sheila: Leave! Now!
Cut to the red base. Sarge is addressing the troops
Sarge:    It's very simple. We'll use a flea-flicker maneouver with a run and gun two by two approach, tactical ops will be- Aw hell, who'm I kiddin'. Grif, Donut, just go stand in the way of their bullets while me and Simmons 2.0 sneak around back to grab Lopez.
Donut: Sounds like a plan!
Grif: No it doesn't. How about this time we try something that doesn't involve me being shot at, or run over.
Simmons: Would electrified be okay?
Grif: No!
Simmons: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Grif: Look, instead of just running straight in to enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don't we try some reconnaissance this time?
Donut: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear, a spy tuxedo...