Chapter 32

                                    

                                          
That moment before you fall, when you know nothing but hard asphalt awaits you, that's what Gabe felt like since he had decided to go to Mali. Like the bottom had fallen out of his life and he was hurtling forward in an endless descent. Everything was spiralling out of his control. 
                          
For the first time in his life he wasn't excited about going on a mission. He was afraid and reluctant. He didn't relish the excitement and the awaiting action. 
                          
"You should eat something." He'd brought her some toast to nibble on and some tea to settle her stomach; despite the fact that he hated crumbs in bed. Gabe was somewhat of a neat freak, trained by years of barrack inspections and Marine Corps regulation. 
                          
She gave him a watery smile and accepted the outstretched tray. 
                          
"I know I promised you — "
                          
She shook her head with a strange little smile on her full lips. Was it resignation or acceptance? He couldn't tell. 
                          
"Your sense of duty is one of the things I love the most about you. You can't change that more than I can change the hair growing out of my scalp. I can only ask that you keep yourself safe and come back to me as soon as you can."
                          
"I'll do everything in my power to make it back to you."
                          
"I know you will, Gabriel. I trust you."
                          
"How do you always know the right thing to say to me?" he said already feeling calmer, like his feet were on solid ground again. 
                          
She smiled convivially and shrugged. It was her first real smile of the day, her energy had been off on what should have been a good day. He knew it was the toll of being around his family. She had handled it well, better than he expected her to.
                          
He leaned in to kiss her, like he had wanted all week without interruptions, he wanted to take his time, lose himself in her and have her breathless and flushed from his kisses.
                          
"I think this should come off," he said referring to the T-shirt that she wore. Another one of his college T-shirts that she liked to sleep in. It had holes near the bottom and was almost transparent from washing but he couldn't part with it. 
                          
Smiling against his lips, she arched off his lap and manoeuvred the offending article off, throwing it behind her. It was a far cry from the first time they had made love. Her new found confidence was unbelievably sexy. The possibility of being even a little bit responsible for that made him feel like a king amongst men. 
                          
He ran his fingers over her soft skin. She dug hers into his back. Her moans sounded like the sweetest music to his ears. He was going to miss these moments the most. When she was unreserved and unrestricted just for him. 
                          
Flipping her onto her back, he kissed her neck, feeling no shame in leaving huge hickeys. He wanted to mark her up, so she knew exactly who she belonged to while he was gone. 
                          
"Mm, I love how strong you are," she sighed happily, running her hands over his biceps and shoulders. 
                          
Balancing himself on his hands over her, Gabe flexed his muscles cockily, making her laugh in surprise. He bent his head down to lavish attention on her pillowy breasts. He already knew that she loved his muscles, her gaze and her touch gravitated to his arms often.
                          
"Okay, enough. I've waited for this all week," she wrapped her smooth legs around his hips, drawing him nearer. 
                          
"Oh you did? Could have fooled me."
                          
"I just have better self-control than you," she snarked back, making a point to circle her hips against his. He could feel the heat from her behind her tiny scrap of underwear.