Heavy Past

                                    

                                          
Noses touching,  I let out a playful bark and nip at his side, only to spin around as he playfully lunges after me and run off in the meadow with him hot on my heels. 
                          
Wolves have a tendency to lose themselves in the enjoyment of their soul mate when meeting for the first time. To just start over with someone, be playful, act like pups. Or so I've been told. 
                          
It's refreshing, you know. Becoming whole, after thinking you never could again. It's also incredibly terrifying, knowing that someone is such a big part of you, with so much power to hurt you. 
                          
      After we've tired ourselves out, we both plop down on the lush grass. Each piece softly caresses my face, almost lulling me to sleep. I snap out of my haze when I see the alpha's tongue loll out of his mouth, signaling he's relaxed. I can't help but let out a bark of laughter when I see this, he just looks so calm. I doubt alphas get such a luxury very often. He looks over at me and smiles a wolfish grin, guessing what I'm thinking.
                          
      With my mates warmth at my side, the soft wind, and serene atmosphere,  I realize I haven't been so content in a very long time. Not in ten years. Not since I gained a reason to be terrified when I didn't blend in with the shadows. 
                          
********** Flashback ***********
                          
        I jolt up from my slumber when I hear the ear piercing scream. 
                          
As soon as another shriek breaks the tense silence, I jump up from my bed and race down the stairs as fast as my little seven year old legs will carry me, only to let out a scream of my own as I enter the living room. My dad holding a bloody knife, my mom stabbed straight through her heart. 
                          
"Mommy," I sob, choking on my own tears as they fall freely down my cheeks. As her lifeless body falls to the ground I ask,"Daddy?" 
                          
He looks up at me as if he just noticed I was there, and I flinch back as I see his cold, emotionless eyes staring back at me. 
                          
He let's out a menacing laugh as he reaches out and grabs my little brother, who I hadn't noticed before, by the throat. "Daddy, stop!!" I scream. I freeze in place, unable to move my body as he raises the bloody knife over my brother's chest. He looks at me straight in the eyes as he plunges it down, killing my little innocent brother and spewing thick, red blood everywhere. He doesn't even flinch as it splatters on him, he just simply drops my dead brother to the floor as if it's an everyday occurrence. 
                          
I slide to the ground, shaking from a mix of shock, anger, fright, and grief. I let my emotions overcome me as I stare down at my brother and mother, and I can't help but burst out in tears. The blood seeps into the carpet, soaking it through and through, just as this will leave a deep stain on my heart. I look up at the man I used to call a hero, and only see a emotionless monster in his place. 
                          
********End of Flashback********
                          
My dad always said he would protect us no matter what, yet without warning he became the complete opposite. He became my master and I was treated as a personal punching bag. 
                          
Once I turned eleven, I finally had the chance to run away, so I did. As a runaway, I met many other rouges who taught me everything I know, that's how I became the good fighter I am today. 
                          
I started noticing a pattern though. Whenever I went back to visit the people who helped me, I found them missing or dead. The monster kills anyone who shows me kindness on his quest to find me, that's why I can't stay in one place for too long, and that's why I need to leave. 
                          
Otherwise everyone in this pack, including my mate, will die. And I would much rather have myself dead before allowing that to happen. I can't stay here.
                          
        Abruptly, I stand and allow my heart a last, lingering look at the alpha. I give him a sad, wolfish smile before I begin to sprint away.
                          
 I don't want him dead. He can't die. Let me tell you something about mates; as soon as you meet your other half, you click together like puzzle pieces. And even though I just met him, I already feel I will protect him no matter what the cost, even if it's my life, or my happiness. 
                          
     I hear his heartbreaking howl pierce the air, and his thundering quest through the trees after me, but this time I don't stop. I can't. I'm too far gone.