• Chapter 8 •

                                    

                                          
My eyes slowly fluttered open, I felt so drowsy and weak. I slowly looked around without moving my head. I was on a hospital bed in a white room, it was too bright. My eyes had to take a minute to adjust. I felt a presence next to me and as I looked over I saw Kylo sat down on a chair. He was staring at his mask that was in his hands like he was trying to figure something out. I coughed lightly to let it be known that I was awake.  Kylo looked up sharply and saw that I had woken. 
                          
"(Y/n)! You're awake, and you're alright?"  He questioned me. 
                          
"Yeah i'm not dead if thats what you mean, No thanks to you though" I scoffed. 
                          
I was going to roll my eyes but I didn't even have to energy to do that. He turned his chair to face me.
                          
"I apologise for my behaviour" Why does he say apologise, it never sounds as genuine as sorry. "I-I didn't mean to hurt you" He continued. 
                          
"Well either way, you did hurt me. I don't think things could get much worse right now to be honest." I replied. 
                          
"What do you mea-"He tried to ask before I cut him off. 
                          
"Well first of all, i'm lying on a hospital in a ton of pain, barely able to move feeling extremely weak. Second I have been here for almost over a week, I'm going to be honest here. When I agreed to be your apprentice, I presumed it wouldn't be for long, that the resistance and my friends would rescue me. But noooo, apparently i'm not that important to anyone anymore, you throw me across the room like i'm a rag doll and the resistance never needed me or cared for me. So I don't think it could get much worse. One last thing I could sit and be petty about what you did to me forever, trust me I could but i'm not going to because it looks like i'm stuck with you now and let's get this straight. If i'm going to be here for a long ass time I would prefer not to be victim to your stupid temper tantrums. Alright?" I went off completely but he deserved it. 
                          
He looked really taken aback by all I said. It took a moment for him to respond. "I didn't mean to hurt you and they have tried" He replied. 
                          
"Who tried what?" I questioned quickly. 
                          
"The resistance. They've tried to rescue you multiple times...all unsuccessful" He wasn't looking at me. 
                          
"Oh..." I replied. I didn't really know what to say. 
                          
"Would you prefer I stay or go?" 
                          
"I don't really care" I'm mad at him but I hope he stays. I didn't really know what i'd do if he did leave, i'd have no one to talk to. 
                          
"I won't ever hurt you again" He said and went to put his hand on my shoulder but naturally I flinched. 
                          
He pulled his hand away and looked down. We just stayed in silence for a while. I began to think about things as I always do. I was thinking about Kylo and Ben and how I think that deep down he's still Ben but the anger covers him up. I hoped Kylo wasn't looking at my thoughts because i'm still not great at keeping my thoughts blocked. I also thought about how maybe Ben isn't there, because Kylo has done terrible things and then something popped into my brain. Did he really kill Han? I thought i'd ask him because we don't have anything else to talk about anyway. 
                          
"Kylo can I ask you something?" I looked at him. 
                          
"Sure." He replied. 
                          
"Did you...you know, actually kill your dad?" I questioned worried he might get mad. 
                          
"I killed Ben Solos dad, if that's what you mean?" He said coldly. 
                          
"Do you feel bad about doing it?" I pushed for some emotion. 
                          
"No..." He looked away. 
                          
"It's ok to regret things...and it's ok to feel. You know that right?" I said trying to make eye contact. 
                          
"Like I have told you before feelings make you weak..." He looked back up at me. 
                          
"No they don't...I know from experience. Feelings make you stronger" I said confidently. 
                          
"I don't see how..." Kylo said confused. 
                          
"They do...trust me if you let yourself feel again, things become clearer, but hey who am I to tell you what to do right?" I said trying sit up slightly. 
                          
"Yeah..." he replied. 
                          
This feels nice again, just talking to him. 
                          
"(Y/n), if you know that i'm a monster then why do you continue to speak to me like a normal person?" He said surprisingly starting a conversation for once. 
                          
"Well, I'm not entirely sure but I think it might be because I know despite the fact that you've done horrible things and try to portray yourself as a terrible villain without feelings, you still have feelings, just like me just like your Mum or Rey or any of us. Deep down I know your not Kylo Ren"  I said sincerely. 
                          
"I see...well I should go, you need to rest. Once again I apologise." He said standing up and putting his mask on. 
                          
"It's still not ok, but there's no point in holding grudges. See later Kylo" I lifted my hand a little and waved lightly. 
                          
"Bye (Y/n)" He left. 
                          
I just realised that I barely call him Master Ren anymore, but he hasn't said anything about it.