All Settled

                                    

                                          
STEF POV
                          
"So how is Miss Francesca? She all settled?" Miss Rose asks as Lena and I had just gotten home this afternoon from dropping our baby off at college. The entire thing was bittersweet for it was the only thing I wanted for Frankie, and had damm near pushed her so hard towards it to the point it nearly killed our relationship.  But, Frankie had found her way and her leaving hurts. Hurts like a fucking bitch but I know as her mother I have to let her begin her life in the way she deserves and I will support her no matter what. But I cried the entire ride home and I know I will cry more as my little three year old grandbaby, Ameila sleeps in my lap and Andrew plays with his toy trucks in the living room.
                          
But, I am lost considering I haven't been away from Frankie since I was released from jail twelve years ago but I am grateful I have these crazy grandkids to keep me young and feel needed. Glancing, to my wife who knows how I am feeling she smiles softly at me as I wink at her letting her know I'm ok as I run my fingers through Ameila's curly hair.
                          
"I think she will settle in ok. Her and Mariana." I say as Mama Rose takes a seat beside me and pats my shoulder.
                          
"Now that is nice. That is real nice. And she will do well and you will be fine."

                          
"Me? I'm fine Mama." I say continuing to run my fingers through Amelia's curly hair. "Frankie is, an adult in some shape or form and I'm fine. I have plenty of things to keep me busy."
                          
"Its ok if you're not honey." Lena says as I glance to her.  "It really is, it's the first baby you have that left for school."
                          
"Look, at least she finally went to school and decided what she wants to do. I just hope she behaves herself. That's all, and that she doesn't bang every girl up there." I blurt out without thinking as Lena shakes her head at me.
                          
"Oh god, Stef, I don't think she is going to do that. She's got a good head on her shoulders now. She really does."
                          
"Len, that breakup with Erin nearly destroyed her. I've never seen Frankie so devastated in all my life. That was really hard for her and, I just don't want her getting mixed up in something like that again. Granted she's my daughter and therefore constantly feels the need to be with a girl, or in a relationship, and take care of everyone, and I can't change that about her. "
                          
"That's understandable but she seems very focused on her studies. You're stroke had a big impact on her Stef. I don't think she's gonna let that fall to the waste side. Neither her or Mariana." Mama Rose says as I continue to rub Amelia's back as she stirs a bit in my lap and I hold her closer.
                          
"I know. And we are gonna give her space but she's gotta check in once in a while. Regardless off if she is turning 20 or not."
                          
"I'm sure she will baby. Frankie loves you and you two got very close the last few years."
                          
"Yeah, I know and I'm so proud of her. I really am."
                          
"Yaya! Yaya can I play with my trucks outside!" Andrew runs over to me as I smile at him and kiss his forehead. He too has gotten so big as it was hard to believe he was already in kindergarten. Infact he was the exact same age Frankie was when Lena and I were released as his eyes are so much like Callie's along with his smile that always melted my heart.
                          
"In the backyard, on the porch near this door."I point." If you move  or go anywhere else it's the last time and I will whip yu. Understood?"
                          
"YES!" 
                          
"Ok, but how was your first day at kindergarten, baby."I move his long hair from his eyes as he traces the band tattoo on my arm but I can see he is antsy and eager to go outside much like Jude and Noah use to be.
                          
"Good! Can I go now! PLEASEEE."
                          
"Yes go on! And don't run!!" He giggles nearly storming outside in excitement as we can all only laugh at his enthusiasm. Andrew is a sweet little boy, quiet at times but struggles with ADHD which he is on medication for, and it is something we are helping both Pete and Callie with, regardless of how difficult Callie continues to be with me.
                          
"I swear he has more energy then anyone I have ever met." I sip my coffee and look back him as he obeys and play right outside the door. "So how was my eldest granddaughter this morning Mama?" I sip more coffee as Mama's silence say sit all as I look to Lena who's face grows concerned. 
                          
"She was, ok. She had a hard time getting out, Pete tried, and Callie had, she had a hard time with her I think initially but she did let Callie style her hair."
                          
"She talked back to Pete again?" I dig as Mama Rose is quiet again and I shake my head at my granddaughter for I told her repeatably to mind her manners with Pete. "Ok that means she did Mama."
                          
"Honey, she's a dramatic teenager. It was her first day of high school and she, she she only wanted you, so she had a hard morning."
                          
"Maybe so but I have told her time and time again not to be rude to Pete and she just won't listen. I also told her to respect Callie."
                          
"Maybe it's not that she won't listen honey, I mean it's been alot for her. She still trying to get use to Callie. Callie's illness has affected her alot babe, and baby Stef is very sensitive to everything. Add puberty and it makes it worse."
                          
"I know. I'd have been trying to get her and Callie to, to get to know each other and grow closer, I have which is why I was hoping Callie could help her this morning."
                          
"I know but I think baby Stef is scared baby. You have, you and Lena have been the constant in her life. The most stable." Mama Rose says. "Regardless of your stroke, you and Lena and this home have been her foundation. It's still going to take a bit of time for her and Callie. It will."
                          
"I didn't mean to take over being her parent when she was growing up. I didn't mean to disciple her all the time and have her be with me.  I guess I should have pushed their relationship earlier but maybe I didn't notice it." Feeling Mama grab my free hand she squeezes it.
                          
"Honey, you can't blame yourself for that. You are who you are, and you loved all these children. You tried because Callie was VERY young. She trusted you with her daughter, with her son."
                          
"I feel like Callie feels like I, like I stole her daughter."
                          
"Baby." Lena says with a worried look. "I don't think she thinks that."
                          
"I don't know Lena. Callie and I have not been the same since before I had my stroke four years ago. We haven't and it's more then me forgetting our relationship, I mean we have our moments and I know she feels bad for what happened but she doesn't look at me the same as she did. She still calls me Stef, and she harbors alot of anger towards me and I think one of the reasons is because she feels I stole her daughter, and that's not what I ever intended to do. I just loved my first grandchild more then life, I loved Callie and when we got out of jail I don't know. It's not the same, like she wants us to help but she resents me for it."
                          
"Have you asked her that?" Mama Rose asks as I look in her eyes shaking my head.
                          
"No. Because I'm scared of what she'll say.Ya know, I remember Frankie was close to Judy when I was in jail and that hurt like fuck. She wanted and had Judy go to Girl Scouts with her and they went camping and shit. While I was in jail fucking rotting away, my baby was bonding with another woman. That she called Mommy. I wanted to slit Judy's throat, I did. And every Baby Stef has called me Mom I correct her and tell her Callie is her Mom and I'm Yaya. Every time, but I just want Callie to be ok and to know that those were never my intentions."
                          
"Then why don't you talk to her if you feel that way. Maybe you two need to get things off your chest that you haven't. I know it's a hard thing baby, because you and her were very close, but you should talk. I feel tears run down my face as I look to my wife who reaches her hand out and holds mine. I wink at her letting her know I'm ok as I kiss my grandchild's head again and holding her close to my heart for my deteriorating relationship wit Callie continued to kill my heart, mine and Lena's.
                          
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Thanks for your patience everyone!