♤once♤

                                    

                                          
two days passed slowly.
                          
it was now the day of taehyung and bogum's date.
                          
previously, taehyung had been excited. however, taehyung hadn't even cracked a smile since the fiasco with jeongguk.
                          
jeongguk was avoiding him and he didn't blame him.
                          
taehyung hated himself for what he said to jeongguk. he knew he didn't mean it because he was angry. the words that came out of taehyung's mouth when he was mad were never pretty and, most of the time, utter bullshit.
                          
jeongguk knew this too but he just couldn't bring himself to face the other boy. even if the words were empty, they were still said. they still hurt.
                          
taehyung thought about just calling off the date but he decided against it when he remembered that bogum was actually a really good person and he didn't wanna drop him so last minute without a good excuse since he wouldn't be able to tell him the real reason. he also decided that maybe just getting off campus and hanging out with a friend for the day was exactly what he needed at the moment.
                          
that still didn't change how sad he was, though. 
                          
jeongguk hadn't even slept at their dorm since their fight. the only time he saw him was by coinsidence around campus or when he came to pick up clean clothes from the room.
                          
when taehyung saw him, he wasn't expecting him to greet him with so much love like how he did before. however, when he saw him around, he wouldn't even wave. not even a little nod. he'd just completely divert his eyes away or just pull his phone out and start scrolling on random social medias. 
                          
it hurt.
                          
jeongguk was the only person that taehyung fully trusted. sure, the other five boys were his best friends too, heck, namjoon was his brother, but jeongguk was always the closest with him. 
                          
he grew up with jeongguk since they were barely toddlers. you know how most people have that one thing from when they were a baby or a child that they'll never let go of? like a little blanket or a special toy? well, for taehyung, jeongguk was that. jeongguk was taehyung's support mechanism as well as all of his other roles in tae's life.
                          
now that taehyung didn't have that little protective sheild, he felt weaker than normal. he'd always been sensitive but, without jeongguk, it was worse. 
                          
because of his emotional nature, he'd cry easily. when jeongguk was still on good terms with him, he wasn't afraid to cry because he knew that he'd have that shoulder to lean on. but now that jeongguk hated him, he was scared to cry in the fear that he'd never stop for hours.
                          
despite all this and more, taehyung refused to feel sorry for himself.
                          
what jeongguk said would replay in his mind every single time he thought that he was starting to pity himself.
                          
"don't try and make me feel sorry for you when you don't fucking deserve sympathy!"
                          
he's right tae, you don't deserve sympathy. it's all your fault that he hates you now so just act like a grown man for once in your fucking life and stop being such a crybaby bitch.
                          
that being said, taehyung stepped into the shower to get ready for his date.
                          
something about calling it a date made him uncomfortable now. he knew what the "something" was but he pushed it to the back of his mind since whatever hope he had for that was already washed down the drain at this point.
                          
he washed his hair slowly and sighed, holding back tears as he thought about the person he'd been thinking about everyday for two days- hell, for years now.