Chapter 12 / One-Eighty Degrees in the Right Direction

                                    

                                          
Five days.
That was how long Scorpius stayed in the Infirmary.
It was also the exact length of time that Albus tortured himself with worry and self-hate.
He had visited him every day since the attack on Thursday, and although Scorpius never said so, Albus knew that he had actually completely recovered by Saturday. He just wanted to stay in the Infirmary for as long as possible—to delay his return to the Slytherin Common Room. Albus didn't need Scorpius to tell him that it was because he was dead afraid of what Matt and the others might do next.
Albus found that he was too.
He had never thought Matt was capable of beating another student to unconsciousness. It seemed inconceivable that the boy with whom most of his teenage memories were shared would deem it okay to do what he did. Albus was sure that Matt didn't even do it completely out of hatred—it was more a knee-jerk reaction. Matt had spent so much time and effort harassing and insulting Scorpius in the past, that at some point, he had stepped over the line and he didn't realize that the things he did were so far beyond okay.
But despite knowing this—despite knowing that his best friend's deeds were horrifying and cruel, he couldn't find the guts to mention it, let alone confront him. Albus would remain studiously quiet in Matt's presence, pretending that nothing happened.
He despised himself for it.
Albus' mind had spent the past five days at war with his heart.
The image of Scorpius, unconscious in a pool of his own blood, was burned into the back on his eyelids, and every time he revisited that memory, Albus found that he was exceedingly angry and confused. He had a choice to make; he had to go down one road and one road only. Never did he think he would be in this position—to either choose Scorpius or Matt.
He tried to think of other ways out of it, but there was nothing. Scorpius and Matt were like two puzzle pieces that would never fit together, and Albus had only enough of himself to choose one. He toyed with the idea of keeping Scorpius as his secret, but he couldn't justify it. Scorpius deserved better. If Albus was going to be his friend, he was going to do it right.
But it was this first step that had Albus tangled up in his ultimatum.
In the darkest parts of his mind, there were times in the past five days that Albus wished that he had never become friends with Scorpius—then he wouldn't have this horrible decision to make. Whenever he thought this, however, he would stop that train of thought immediately. Scorp was his friend now, end of story. Albus would think about the short amount of time they had spent with each other since they had begun their friendship and he'd smile. Scorpius was a good friend, he had no doubt—though it meant nothing if he didn't do anything about it.
But how could he? The entire student body of Hogwarts saw Scorpius in a certain way that painted him as different. Their assumptions about Scorpius only solidified when news of the attack spread through Hogwarts like wildfire—faster than Albus, and he was sure, Scorpius, would hope so.
When Lily heard, she had come to Albus.
"How's Scorpius?"
Albus' heart had stopped for a second. How did she know they were friends? As far as he knew, neither he nor Scorpius had told anyone.
"What?"
"You're in his dormitory ... you're best friends with Matt," she had explained, resentment edging her tone. "I just thought you'd know something more."
"I don't," he had said quickly.
Lily smacked her lips in impatience and stared at Albus with angry brown eyes that burrowed into his and made him feel tiny. "Well, for the record, I think your friends are right bastards for what they did. How you can hang out with them is beyond me, Albus."
Her words choked him of breath, and he couldn't say anything.
"Look, I know you're not that close to Scorpius," she had said. "And you may not even care that he's lying in the Infirmary right now half-dead because of your stupid friends, but even you should have a shred of dignity."
Albus swallowed and stared at his sister. "Lily, look I—"
"And I get that you have this image going on right now with Quidditch and this whole popularity trip, but someone was badly hurt, Albus, and it's not right," she huffed out angrily, her eyebrows dipping together.
"I know it's not," Albus said quickly and quietly.
"You know?" Lily said dubiously.
"Yes," he breathed. "Yes, dammit. Matt was wrong, I know it—"
"Then do something about it!"
"I can't!" he cried out.
"Why not?"
And once again, he was at the crux of the situation—the crossroads—where his head and heart were still battling.
He hadn't answered her question, because he couldn't.
Next, Mel had come to him with the same question.
"How's Scorpius?"
Why did everyone assume he knew?
"Dunno," he had mumbled, already sick of the lies.
"He'll be okay, won't he?" she asked worriedly. "I mean, Matt didn't hurt him too terribly, did he?"
Albus wanted to laugh in her face, but he stayed quiet.
"He couldn't have," Mel answered her own question. "Matt couldn't do that. It's Matt! He's so nice and funny and sweet. I mean ... I know he didn't like Scorpius—" (Albus inwardly snorted. Understatement of the year.) "—but surely not enough to hurt him like that."
"But he's in the Infirmary, Mel," Albus said a little angrily. Why was she sticking up for Matt? Clearly he did hurt Scorpius that much if he was in the Infirmary.
"I know ... but you know Pomfrey," she said casually. "She kept my friend Nicole up there for three days because she had strained her wrist. Maybe it's not all that bad."
In the end, Albus had walked away from the conversation, mentioning something about an essay that he had due. As if Scorpius being half beaten to death was comparable with a sprained wrist.
It was now Monday, and Scorpius was let out at last.
Having just finished his last class of the day, Albus trudged wearily up to his dormitory, with his bag clutched in one hand, and a heavy Potions textbook in the other, in the hopes that perhaps he could get some study done tonight. Matt had a detention for an incident in Care of Magical Creatures where he had "accidentally" set a whole bucket-full of gnomes loose on the Professor. The whole class had been laughing, sans Albus. Watching from the side, Albus couldn't help but notice that it really didn't look like an accident at all. Whatever the case, Matt wouldn't be finished his detention until late and Albus found he was grateful for it.
With his shoulder, he pushed open the dormitory door and froze when he saw Scorpius sitting upright in his bed, looking straight at him.
"Scorpius!" He cried in surprise.
"Hello," he replied softly. "Sorry if I startled you."
"Are you alright?" Albus blurted, closing the door and crossing the room hastily. He dumped his stuff on the ground, and sat on his bed, facing the other boy.
Scorpius smiled wearily. "Yes ... I'm fine now. Can't you tell?" He flashed him a quick grin. Albus appreciated the small attempt at light-heartedness, but he couldn't take this lightly.
"I'm sorry I couldn't visit you today," Albus said. "I was going to later, but you're here now, so ..."
"That's alright. I wasn't sure I'd be let out today anyway, and when I was, I decided to come straight here," he said.
Albus knew he was lying—Scorpius was well and ready to be let out two days ago. Still, he didn't point it out. Albus figured that if he were in Scorpius' shoes, he'd probably do the same.
"Er, I have today's notes for you," Albus muttered, looking down at the mess of his trunk where his books lay haphazardly. "Er ... I'll find them ... they're there somewhere."
Scorpius grinned. "Thanks ... I hate to miss out on lessons, but ... yeah ... Thank you for keeping me up to date."
"No problem."
Awkwardly, they stared at each other for a moment, until Scorpius said. "I look like a right mess, don't I? The Infirmary does nothing for one's appearance," he smiled, trying to make a joke out of it. Self-consciously, he ran a hand through his flyaway blond locks that had been regretfully neglected of their daily pampering since the attack, but Albus saw nothing wrong.
"You look fine," Albus assured him. "Really."
Scorpius blushed. "Thanks."
Once again, neither knew what to say and they descended into an uncomfortable quiet, both painfully aware of the elephant in the room with them. Albus tried to come up with a million different ways to approach the delicate situation, but each sounded pathetic and too thought out.
Finally, just when Albus was opening his mouth to say something, Scorpius blurted, "Don't say anything ... please."
"...Why not?"
"I've thought about ... how difficult this must be for you particularly, and ... to be honest ... I don't think I'm ready to hear what you have to say ... yet," Scorpius mumbled.
Albus was confused. "I don't understand..."
Scorpius took a deep breath and looked down at his lap. "Look, Albus ... I know you're trying to be my friend in all of this ... and I value that ... I value our friendship. But—but we can't just forget the past. Albus, your friends ... are not my favourite people in the world, to say the least. And I can't ... you've been friends with them for years, and I can't ... the thing is—I know what you must be thinking now ... and I know your answer, so I'd rather you didn't ..."
"Scorp," Albus said, stopping him gently mid-sentence. "I think I know what you're trying to say ... but if you think that I condone what happened, then you're mistaken."
"I didn't say you did, I'm just saying that ... you're probably going to ..."
"I'm probably going to what?" Albus asked.
Scorpius bit his lip and his eyes suddenly expressed a deep sadness.
"Scorpius," Albus said. "I spent the past five days going insane with thoughts of what happened last week. I haven't been able to focus on anything else ... I keep thinking about you and Matt ... and the choices I need to make ..."
"No, don't say it," Scorpius pleaded, his voice the barest of whispers.
Albus understood why then. Scorpius was convinced that Albus would end their friendship because of the attack, and he didn't want Albus to say the words. He didn't want their friendship to end; desperately holding on to what he thought was the dying moments of their brief companionship.
It was then that Albus suddenly knew.
"You have to let me say it," Albus said in reply. He waited for Scorpius' tentative nod and continued with a deep breath. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realise this, but I get it now. I get that I can't have both worlds, Scorp. I have to choose, if I want to do this right." He saw Scorpius' eyes shut tight, but he barrelled on. "I thought I knew Matt ... I thought I knew him inside-out, being his best friend and all ... but after last Thursday, something changed. But the change had nothing to do with Matt ... it had to do with me. And you." He expelled a shaky breath as he took in Scorpius' frozen appearance. "And I realised that I can't be friends with him anymore. Something's different in me ... and Matt has no place in ...whatever it is. And I know I'm going against everything I knew and have known ... but ... Scorpius, I want to be your friend ... properly. I guess all that remains is for you ... to ..." he trailed off and stared at him.
Scorpius raised his head after a while, and with eyes wide and shining and glinting silver, he offered Albus a small watery smile. "You would end your friendship with Matthew ..." he breathed.
"...to begin a new one with you," Albus finished awkwardly, still waiting for Scorpius' reply. "Are you game?" He flashed one of his lop-sided smiles.
"Albus..." Scorpius said slowly, looking at him. "Think about this, please. You'll be going against ... everything and everyone."
"I know," Albus said. "And I have thought about this ... I'm almost seventeen, Scorp, things are bound to start changing in my life soon. I was wondering if you'd do me honour of being the first change," he said with a small smile.
Scorpius returned the smile, albeit very unsurely and in disbelief. "You're sure?"
"Yes," Albus nodded.
"But ... I'm very different to your other friends, you know. Worlds apart. How do you know ... I mean, why me?" Scorpius asked.
Albus smiled at him. "That's why, Scorp. Because you're worlds apart from them. Because you're different. And you're also incredibly smart and funny ... I may not know exactly what I'm getting myself into, but I want to give it a shot, if you'll let me."
Scorpius had gone bright red. "Well ..."
"Just say yes already," Albus laughed.
With a nibble on his bottom lip, Scorpius muttered, "Yes ..."
Albus chuckled. "You make it seem as if it's a terrible thing being friends with you."
"I'm just ... I just don't want you to make rash decisions ... and then regret it later ... and then resent this," Scorpius said.
"Trust me," Albus said, "This is definitely not a rash decision, and I won't regret it. This is something that I want to do ... that I know is right ... and that I know is going to be a new adventure for both of us. If for no other reason, that should be enough," he smiled.
Scorpius finally gave him a genuine smile. "Then in answer to your question ... yes, I'm game ... it would be an honour to be your friend."
Albus grinned.