A rather Cloudy Day

                                    

                                          
Triggers: mentions of self harm
                          
After texting the directions to Frank all I could do was wait. Every now and then I'd glace over at the untidy boy sitting no more then 10 feet away from me. His feet were resting on the skateboard under the table and he was rocking it back and forth making marks of the coffee shop floor.
                          
Wringing my hands I tried to get Gerards attention again. He had given up on posture completely and was now sitting slouched in the chair with his back bent in an unholy position.
                          
"Gerard please" I begged him, the feeling of tears returning to my eyes again. I'd never see him, or any other normal human for that fact, in such a state.
                          
"Gerard please just say something" I tried to reason with him
                          
"you're scaring me" my voice was quiet and small. To say he was scaring me was an understatement. He reminded me of when my mother would throw a party and get wasted and high on whatever she could find. Then she would zone out completely, just like this. It was like a live memory and I wanted to get out of it as soon as possible.
                          
Pulling out the ipod again I checked up on where Frank was. My hands were shaking as I typed. Looking up around me I noticed a couple people staring at our table. It was like Gerard was dead. Unmoving and pale. Just staring.
                          
Bouncing my leg nervously I dig my fingernails into the back of my hand. As red crescent marks appeared on my knuckles I saw the boy look at me in a curious way. 
                          
An all too familiar ich rose in my stomach. The memories of my mother just wouldn't get themselves out of my head. No matter how hard I tried to replace the thoughts with better ones they kept coming back like waves. I pulled my sleeves further down my hands as I tried to supresss the need to hurt myself. Taking a deep breathe I read the notification from Frank that had just popped up on my screen.
                          
"Almost there, don't panic"
                          
Why would he say that? Even if I wasn't panicked before I definitely would be now! Don't panic my ass. Gerard is sitting in front of me looking like Hades himself came to claim him. Sitting on my hands to stop me from doing anything thing else I watched the boy out of the corner of my eye. Ruffling his hair he paid the bill and scribbled something on his receipt. Flipping his skateboard up he held it under his arm and shoved the mint from the cheque into his hoodie pocket.
                          
As he walked past my table he caught my eye and winked at me. A couple butterflies sprung to life in my stomach. 
                          
A moment later I heard the door close and the wheels of the board against the gravel road told me he was getting closer to me never seeing his pretty face again. 
                          
The waiter I had absolutely forgotten about came carrying our food. He smiled and placed a small piece of paper on the left of my plate. 
                          
"One of the customers gave it to me to give to you" 
                          
I felt my cheeks flush red and I thanked him for the food and paper. Sliding Gerard's plate towards him I tried to get him to eat, even just to talk. No use. He's been sitting like that for a good 20 minutes, it made me feel like throwing up and I hadn't even eaten yet. 
                          
Trying to distract myself I picked up the paper with a soft smile playing on my lips. I was expecting a cute note or even a smiley face but instead I got 10 digits of pure hope. He'd left his phone number with a messy note that said 
                          
text me ;) 
                          
I looked between the note and Gerard. I really hoped Frank would get here soon. 
                          
It seemed my wishing worked because in the next 6 minutes Frank walked into the Cafe and saw Gerard slouched back in his chair all spaced out. 
                          
"Hey kiddo" he said as he walked passed me and towards Gerard, waving a hand in front of his face. 
                          
Biting his lip he twisted the ring on his index finger. He dug into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, slapping a hundred dollar bill on the table he wrapped his arm around Gerard and practically dragged him out of the coffee shop as I followed closely behind them. 
                          
As Frank walked Gerard to the front seat he mumbled something too soft to hear. 
                          
"Hey Frank" I said "what the hell is going on"
                          
Frank ignored me as he got in the driver's seat. I was still standing outside the car in slight shock. Opening the back car door I slid in and lean forward in between the two seats so I'm in Frank's line of veiw 
                          
"Yo what the fuck is up with Gerard?"
                          
Frank sighed heavily. "He's on new medication." I think I physically felt my heart skip a beat. 
                          
"What? why? What's wrong?" 
                          
"Nothing Taylor, it's fine don't worry about it" 
                          
I started to argue but he cut me off. 
                          
"I said it's fine." 
                          
After that I was silent. Frank drove back to Gerard's house. Frank had never been anything but fun and jokey around me. Something must be seriously wrong and I was determined to figure it out. 
                          
On top of this I also had the cute guy in the Cafe to worry about. It felt wrong to like somebody so soon. I felt bad. I loved Lily so much and now I'm getting butterflies for some random ass dude in a coffee shop. It felt wrong and I felt awful about it. I debated throwing away the small scap of paper but found myself pocketing it for safe keeping 
                          
I sighed softly and rested my arm on the little plastic arm rest of the door and stared at the grey sky. It had turned suddenlyvery cloudy. I found it funny how the weather always seemed to match my situation, ever since I was small. The sky was very cloudy today, it was hiding the sun. Much like Frank was hiding the truth.