Chapter 15-Overwhelmed

                                    

                                          
I sat in the empty exam room filling out forms. I had to pause for a moment. Who would have thought that something as simple as filling out my marital status would be so confusing. There should be a box marked: It's complicated. 
                          
It was almost comical in a way, except for when it happens to you. I sighed, and marked the box that said married, but as an afterthought, wrote separated next to it. It was the truth. We weren't even living in the same state, much less the same household.
                          
After I finished my paperwork, I placed it in the bin on the other side of the exam room door, a signal to the nurse that I was ready. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I had no idea what to expect. I never expected myself to be in this situation, and I was borderline terrified.
                          
Within a few minutes, the exam room door opened, and a young female doctor appeared. She was much younger than I expected, but her smile was warm and friendly.
                          
"Hi Korina. I'm Dr. Anna Taylor. I'm filling in for Dr. Brown." She introduced herself, and I cringed at the use of my given name. Hardly no one called me that, and it felt foreign hearing it. 
                          
"Hi. You can call me Kori." I said, forcing myself smile and hopefully shake my nerves. 
                          
"Of course Kori. Why don't you lay back, and we'll take a look." She said, reaching for the ultrasound machine, turning it to where I could see as I lifted my shirt. 
                          
"Is it okay if I record this, my... I'd like to show it to someone, since he couldn't be here." I explained, not really sure how to actually address Ryan. 
                          
"Of course it really is a shame the father could not be here, we just have to follow very strict protocol. I noticed on your forms that you are separated, but it's nice to hear that the father is involved." She smiled kindly, and my nerves flared up again. 
                          
"I uh... I'm not sure that he is the father. It's. Its...it's complicated." I said. I had always hated that explanation, but it was the only thing that seemed to fit the situation. "I need to ask about having a paternity test done, depending on what the ultrasound shows. How far along I actually am is going to factor into that." I could feel my cheeks heating up. It was so embarrassing having to explain that I did not know who my baby's father was. 
                          
"Sure. Let's take a look and see what we have." She seemed unfazed by my comments, and I figured in her profession this probably wasn't really all that uncommon.
                          
She squeezed some cold gel onto my stomach and began moving the wand around. I took out my phone and began recording. "There is the fluid, and there is the sack. Do you see that tiny little flicker right there?" She pointed to the screen, and I nodded. "That is your baby's heartbeat." 
                          
My eyes filled with tears. It really felt real right now, and I was overcome with emotion. I was terrified, surprised to find myself pregnant, and never thought of myself as the maternal type, but in that moment, I knew I would I would do anything in the world for the tiny little bean growing inside of me. 
                          
"It looks like you are about six to seven weeks along." She commented, and my heart sank. Six to seven weeks gave me no definite answers. I still didn't know if Derek or Ryan was the father.
                          
"How soon can we have a paternity test done?" I asked.
                          
"You have to be at least seven weeks along." Dr Taylor said.
                          
"Is it risky for the baby?" I asked.
                          
"No. It's completely non invasive. It only involves a blood draw from you and a cheek swab from the potential father, or fathers. At seven weeks, the fetus' DNA can be detected in your bloodstream. I would recommend waiting at least a week to make sure you are far enough along, and I would be more than happy to set everything up for you."