XVIII

                                    

                                          
Kenzie Hope
"Luna!" Sounded a knock outside my bedroom door. I groaned at the person, telling them some beautiful profanities. I was just about to fall asleep when they knocked. It was becoming very rare that I was greeted with the sweet reward of sleep.
"What?" I snapped as I opened the door. Standing there was Jake with a terrified look on his face. I continued to glare at him until he spoke. 
"The Alpha would like to speak to you," He mumbled, pushing the phone to my ear before running into his own bedroom. 
I held the phone up to my ear, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of Kaden's heavy breathing. We sat their for a minute on silence. In that minute, I decided that since I wasn't going to sleep, I was going to take a relaxing bath. 
I began to draw the water, silence still stood on the phone. I took my soaps from the bag and placed them next to the bath, still awaiting for Kaden's urgent news.
Finally, I had enough of the silence. "If you aren't going to talk, why did you bother calling," I snapped at him, my anger evident in my tone. 
He still didn't reply.
I growled into the phone, "I'm hanging up."
This time he spoke.
"Wait! Wait! McKenna!" His voice pleaded. I stopped in my tracks. His voice was so raw with emotion. I felt a pinprick in my heart as he broke down the wall between me and his emotions. It was faint, considering the distance between us; I could feel it, nonetheless, meaning he was hurting a lot. 
But not more than I was. I broke the wall between us, letting him feel my emotions. I let him take on my sadness, my anger, my fear, my love. I let him feel the pent-up rage I had for him over the past few days. I threw at him all of my tears.
He sucked in a breath, that's when I knew he felt it. I built the wall back up, making it silently known that he was not entitled to my feelings. 
"McKenna," He cried. The emotion got stronger in my heart. I couldn't deny that he was beyond hurt too. I let a silent tear run down my face, his emotions getting the best of me. I couldn't show weakness. Ever. 
When I didn't reply, he spoke again, "McKenna, I am so sorry."
I stayed silent, afraid that if I spoke he would hear the tears in my voice. I was scared that if I spoke, I would forgive him. I was scared that if I let myself speak, I would embarrass myself with those three precious words. I was scared that if I muttered a single word, it would cry for him. I was terrified that if I cried for him, he wouldn't cry for me. 
I loved for him, he wouldn't love for me. 
We were silent, I couldn't bear to hang up on his. His voice was calming me down and my wolf basked in the warmth it brought. 
I hated to admit it, but the ordeal with Maxwell had shaken me up more than I was willing to admit. In front of everyone else, I showed a sturdy front; behind closed doors I was terrified. I had been strong in front of everyone else, but there was something different about lying to myself that just didn't sit right. Kaden eased my fear.
I dipped into the bath, placing the phone on a stool that I brought over. Kaden's heavy breathing sounded at every insignificant noise I made, letting me know he was still there. Every once in a while his pen would click rapidly. He would always do that when he was deep in thought.
I thought back to the time when we helped the woman whose mate was in another pack. That was really the first and only time that we had ever led together. It was possible it would also be the last. With everything going on, I wasn't sure if we would ever lead together again.