1

                                    

                                          
Being Muggle-Born I never really new the stigma behind Slytherins, but from the moment I took off that hat, I saw the divide.
                          
If I had known, if someone had told me, I would have begged for another house. But then again, wouldn’t that make me more of a slytherin? We use any means to achieve our ends, right?
                          
And you know, I can kind of understand being okay with it, if you had friends or family in the house, sticking together and all. But its not the easiest when (one) your nick name is “mud blood” and (two) the majority of them really live by the stereo type. Bitchy and rude. But there it is again, another similarity right?
                          
And you know, I can’t say “I don’t belong here”, because where else am I going to go? Gryffindor? Too arrogant for all the wrong reasons. Ravenclaw? Too competitive and grade obsessed. Hufflepuff? Yeah, right. Cause I would never, in a million years, think of doing something unjust or disloyal.
                          
I want to do something with my life and I can and will make it happen because (without being too cocky) I’m actually smart, and I will never give up my pride. I am a slytherin by definition. But do I get along with any of them? No. Because the rest of them think that having pride and a moral code is like having Bob Dylan singing ‘over the rainbow’, completely irony free: It doesn’t happen. Well what if you take pride in having a moral code? What if your not a stuck up pure blood who hates silk sheets? What if you don’t even fit where you’re supposed to fit in? What if your me?
                          
I’m muggle born, so when I heard I had to leave to a magic castle prohibiting electricity, and filled with people, I had to take a step back from my comfortable reality and enchant the shit out of my stuff. No electronics? That meant self sustained record player and no calling home. Which, I’ll be honest with you, I was fine with. And not because I’m so dark and angsty and “my parents are such a drag”, but because I think a new start would be very beneficial. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t break my heart when my mom and dad were crying me goodbyes, and my brother walked me to the ‘entrance’ of 9 3/4.
                          
I distinctly remember a drop in my stomach when I walked into the platform. There weren’t just people, but hundreds of them. All doing, wearing, saying, and thinking different things. When I try to describe social anxiety it usually ends with a “suck it up” sort of reply, but I’ll try and explain it in a more “sympatheticable” sort of way: I don’t see people as just figures standing and moving by themselves. I see them as an individual world. Each one is a goal, a reason, a thoght, and a story. There are all these stories, and my brain cannot and will not focus on myself. That may sound “so selfless” or “so noble” but I swear to god it is not like that. Each story is cut off by the other whether it be through words or actions. My thoughts start to cloud up and are eventually suffocated by these people, all these reasons all. these. stories. Its like my brain is stretched into all these existences. And that's when my stomach drops and my heart stops. That's when I shut down. My throat chokes on itself and i feel like if i speak i’ll scream. Now, I have a few options when this starts to boil up. (One) Look down and mentally block everything out. Focus on breathing, think of every one of your actions and make them count. (Two) talk to someone. Force yourself to listen to the conversation, don’t let anything else slip through the cracks. And (three) Listen to music. Everything suddenly becomes a movie and it a whole lot easier to distance yourself from the stories. But of course, I couldn’t choose any of these options, so i did the next best thing: I ran as fast as I could (while holding a trunk full of crap and a caged owl) into the train, found an empty compartment and sat. This plan worked wonders until the compartment door slid open.
                          
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here,” An enthusiastically bundled up, colorful, and very blond girl was towering over me with a vast panel of facial expressions and sparkling eyes.
                          
“I-Its fine, um, y- you can sit here if you want” One of the side effects of social anxiety: you. suck. at. conversation.
                          
“Oh, Okay!” She dropped her trunk onto the seat next to her as she plopped down on the couch. “My names Michelle by the way”
                          
“I’m Emma” I smiled and tried to make eye contact but, because im me, in my eyes had shot down to her knees, which were leveled with her stomach due to her outrageously long legs. My legs, on the contrary, were so short they swung in an effort to touch the floor.
                          
Her head tilted and her eyes squinted, looking at my shirt, but a few seconds later her head had shot up.“OH! Do you like the B-ee-a-t-els?”
                          
“What--Oh! You-you mean the beatles?” I gripped my shirt and looked down, my eyes shot back up with a grin, “Ohhh, nooo of course not. I mean, if I did I would be wearing one of their shirts, right?”
                          
“Oh, of cooourse! How could I have been so thoughtless!”
                          
Back then I would have given the world just to left alone for the duration of the train ride, but, in present day, I am so glad I wasn’t. If I hadn’t met Michelle my warmer nights at Hogwarts would have been a lot colder. I ended up (as you could have guessed) being sorted into Slytherin. This bought me cold stares and quickened passes from every student not in slytherin, and glares from the ones that were. All but one student that is. Michelle, now a Hufflepuff, stood trew to her house and has stuck by my side ever since our eyes locked. Which is incredibly Loyal considering her pure blood heritage, and therefore knowledge, of the wizarding world. She knew, as well as anyone else, what each house was known for, and yet she stayed. But, to be fair, (and she’s made this very clear) her family is very Liberal.
                          
Now, the only things left for you to know before I move onto present day is, (one) the rest of the Hogwarts student body have yet to show me compassion, (two) I am constantly tired, (three) the sarcasm has stayed, and (four) Michelle has found someone (and this makes me very uncomfortable).