GILLIS 101

                                    

                                          
"First off," Ozzy rubbed his hands together, "do you know how to cook?"
                          
"Well..."
                          
"Eh madam," he cut her off, "I didn't ask if you could price hamburger or sardine. I'm talking real food as in, real Afrian man food. In lame man English, Garri and soup?"
                          
She creased her brows, "Yes but..."
                          
He shook his finger in her face, "No 'buts'. It is either 'yes' kwa or 'no'. There is nothing in between."
                          
"Fine," she sighed rubbing her hand and looking away, "it's been awhile."
                          
Ozzy stroked his chin lightly as he stared at his sister in-law who sat on the kitchen island opposite him and he mumbled, "there's a lot more work to do than I thought." 
He massaged his temples as he said, "So you mean to tell me that since my brother stepped foot in this house, he hasn't eaten Garri and soup that you cooked or even eaten it at all?" 
                          
She nodded her head slowly.
                          
"Ah sister Jessy!" He exclaimed startling her then, pounding his fists into his right palm he said, "Haven't you ever heard 'that the way to a mans heart is through his belly'? Why won't he be so distant when you have failed at the most important thing of all; satisfying his African man belly? It's like playing basketball without a basket, bouncing your ball around the court and saying you've won when you haven't even shot any hoops. That's friggin' messed up!" 
                          
"Oh," she said wearing the saddest expression Ozzy had ever seen, in fact, he had to stop himself from speaking because she looked like she might cry if he went on. 
                          
He sighed and leaning on the worktop, he asked, "So what exactly have you been feeding him?"
                          
"You mean what has he been feeding himself, rather," she whispered looking down again and fiddling with the hem of the gown.
                          
"I don't get."
                          
"He cooks his meal," she said and peeping up to look at Ozzy she noticed his entire frame froze and his left eye was twitching.
                          
Ozzy was livid.
                          
"WHAT DO YOU FREAKING MEAN HE COOKS HIS OWN MEAL!" He yelled at the top of his lungs making Jessica jump on the worktop. 
                          
He paused, "Did he cook the dinner you guys ate last night?" 
                          
She nodded slowly.
                          
"WHAT ?!" He yelled again.
                          
"I'm sorry," she whined.
                          
Ozzy pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to cool himself down but to be honest, he didn't really seem to be getting any calmer. He had thought that the only problem he had to deal with was Gillis living in his wife's house and now here he stood hearing that his brother was cooking the meal, in their home with his wife still alive and kicking.
                          
Chai! Abomina-Abomination!
                          
This lady was turning his brother into a maid right before his eyes.
                          
No, if word got out about him doing the meal, there will be no way for him to defend his brother. In fact, if this news got out he would have to renounce his own blood brother publicly to avoid the shame rubbing off on him.
                          
A man cooking in his own house while his wife was still alive and kicking?
                          
Tufia!