2. Buried Truth

                                    

                                          
As the sun started settling down and silver dust started glittering up above in the New York skies, Clary's green eyes filled with longing, sad yet beautiful as she gazed at the sky. She was in her old room, which was turned into her art room now, looking out of the window at the live painting of the dusk. 
                          
She had started a new painting that day, of her and Izzy's, signifying their Parabatai moment. In just a few hours they'll be Parabatais. She was so lost in her thoughts that when a strong pair of hands snaked around her waist, it startled her and within the blink of an eye, her kindjals were on another person's throat.
                          
"Woah! Hey! Slow down warrior, it's me."
                          
"Oh god! Jace, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking... I.."
                          
"Hey, obviously you were thinking.. too much to be precise. What's wrong?"
                          
"Nothing's wrong, it's just that.." she looked up at the sky, then at Jace. 
                          
"Clary?" He asked softly.
                          
"I wish my mom would be here. I miss her. Getting a Parabatai, it's a big thing. At least for me, it is. I wish she would be here to talk me through it. She would have been proud, right? Do you think she would have forgiven me for what I did, even after her warning? Jace.. I.. I just.." her voice started to crack and a few tears escaped from her eyes.
                          
Jace cupped her face and gently wiped away those tears. "Clary, if Jocelyn would have been here, she would be really proud of you. Look how strong you've become, since the time I've met you, and I mean five years ago, you've always made yourself stronger than before, better than before. Sacrificed for the people you loved. And, not everyone wants a Parabatai, Izzy never did, but you even made her change her mind. You see how pure and strong you are." 
                          
"And, besides, you and Alec have become friends, or more like siblings. What other proof do you want, Fray? You are stronger than you think. Jocelyn would've definitely been proud of you." Simon walked towards them, breaking their moment, his hair messy and wet from the recent shower.
                          
"Thank you, Simon. Thanks, Jace. I'm really missing her right now... Just that..."
                          
Both men exchanged a knowing look. There was a silence hanging over them for a moment and Simon was the one to break the ice. 
                          
"Fray? It's about your memory loss, isn't it? You feel guilty about it?"
                          
She nodded slowly. Even though it's been two and half years since she got her memories back, the guilt inside her was fresh like the smell of new paint. "I can never get over it, Simon. Even if I want to. I forgot everyone, mom, Luke, you, all of you. It was always like a missing part of a puzzle to me, faint memories of everything. I knew what to do, what I wanted to become, but how I got there was always a question in my mind. I always knew something, someone was missing. It was my paintings which kept me sain, else I don't know..." She trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.
                          
"Clary..." Jace walked closer to her, nosed her face up, and kissed her forehead, holding her tightly in his strong arms. "You don't have to feel guilty about it. It's over now and you are stronger than that. Always remember that. Look, I don't know what you suffered in that one year, but it's beside us now, let the past be in the past. You're here now, with your new family, becoming Parabatai with my sister. This is your present and future. I love you, Clary. And I don't want to lose you, ever again."
                          
"I love you too, Jace." She said softly and locked her lips with the blonde ones, in a slow and gentle kiss. A kiss filled with reassurance and love. It lasted only for a few seconds as a clearing of throat broke them apart.
                          
"Umm... as much as I like to get out of here and leave you two to yourself, I can't. Izzy will kick all of our asses if Clary gets late to her ceremony."