forty

                                    

                                          
CHAPTER FORTY
                          
"hoseok." seokjin breathed out, eyes trained on the small blonde boy in front of him, the door held open by his hand, the fingers shaking, fear displayed quite vividly on his face. 
                          
hoseok smiled a little, glancing up at his brother who simply refused to make eye contact. the pair awkwardly stood in the hallway to seokjins apartment, seokjin not attempting to move aside and let the boy in. 
                          
"i got your bag, but i couldn't find your jacket. you must of left it at the bus stop." yoongis deep voice echoed through the hallway, breaking the awkward staring contest hoseok and seokjin seemed to be having. he leaned in, pressing a kiss to hoseoks lips before facing the glaring man in the doorway. 
                          
"and yoongi. what a surprise." his once fearful face and now turned bitter and twisted - an expression neither hoseok nor yoongi had seen on his features before. "what are you doing here?" this question was more directed at yoongi but hoseok took it upon himself to quickly answer. 
                          
"i came to see you. to talk things through." he mumbled quietly. "i thought maybe you'd want to see me." 
                          
seokjin glanced down at the vulnerable boy before shaking his head, gripping the wooden door and snarling. "well you thought wrong. so take yourself and your little cock sucker mouth with you and-"
                          
"jinnie? what's going on?"
                          
that voice. that voice. the sweet and innocent voice leaking with poison and broken promises. the voice hoseok remembers so vividly, the one that told him he wasn't good enough, the one that told him that he was nothing but a whore, good enough for fucking but not good enough for anything else. 
                          
he trembled slightly, stepping back, eyes wide as seokjin visibly gulped. yoongi quickly ran to his lovers side, hoseok accepting the embrace yoongi threw over him, cowering into the side of the man. his eyes glazed over as tears threatened to spill from either side. betrayal shadowed over him as the voice revealed itself beside seokjin. 
                          
"no." he whimpered, staring into the cold eyes of the woman, a smile plastered onto her face as she turned to the two boys. 
                          
"who is this?" she asked seokjin, the other shaking his head, ushering her back into the partner that. 
                          
"it's no one, it's fine, go back in." he turned to hoseok, eyes saddened. "please don't come back. i'm sorry." and with that the door was slammed shut. 
                          
everything fell silent. yoongi glanced down at hoseok, the boy no longer finding comfort within him as he stared blankly ahead. he reached out, touching his shoulder gently as hoseok didn't even react, moving away and heading down out of the building, yoongi following suit. 
                          
the car ride was silent, hoseok staring out the window whilst yoongi tapped his fingers nervously against the wheel. he glanced over, watching hoseok lean foreword, pressing his forehead against the cool glass. pulling up to a red light, he reached over, interlacing his fingers with the others, caramel skin and milky white mixing in the most delicious way. 
                          
another hour passed and they pulled up outside hoseoks apartment. it was quiet for a moment until hoseok turned to yoongi, eyes low as he smiled gently. "come up?"
                          
nothing else had to be said as yoongi followed hoseok inside, shuffling towards his wardrobe as hoseok sat on the bed. yoongi opened a drawer, pulling out some comfy clothes consisting of yoongis oversized t-shirt and a pair of grey cotton shorts. he placed them beside hoseok as the other shuffled onto the bed. 
                          
he smiled contently, reaching up and slipping the t-shirt off the boy before kissing his lips gently. hoseok sighed, watching quietly as yoongi pulled off his trousers too, throwing them off the bed. he then reached for the cotton shorts, gently pulling them up his thighs, fingertips skimming the soft skin beneath them gently, goosebumps following with every touch. 
                          
yoongi glanced down at the others arm, sighing as he saw two harsh lines on both wrists, the skin raised and slightly red. they were horizontal, indicating their purpose like a flashing light. he lent down, pressing a gentle kiss on both scars before kissing each indivisible white line at least twice, eyes flicking up to hoseok as tears pooled in his waterline. 
                          
he then moved across to his torso, round scars everywhere and small lines too. it was an unperfect perfect masterpiece. and it was all yoongis. all of it. he didn't belong to yoongi. but yoongi most certainly belonged to him. it wasn't a case of possessiveness. simply a case of true love. he didn't love hoseok. 
                          
he was in love with hoseok. 
                          
and it was painstakingly obvious when he finally finished his attack, slipping the t-shirt over his little peaches head, stealing get another sweet kiss from the pouty lips, thumbs wiping away the tears he caused before pulling the duvet over the pair of them, himself just slipping out of the jeans. 
                          
wrapping his arms around the boys waist, yoongi pulled him in, pressing his lips to his hairline, fingers coming up to gently caress the boy to sleep but not before whispering gently in his ear. 
                          
"i'm so in love with you jung hoseok. even if you might break me before i break you."