I don't need your help!

                                    

                                          
Connor POV
                          
After the useless day in boring school where I didn't get into fights, I kept to myself and didn't even look at anyone. My cousins tried talking to me but I ignored them, I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I like my cousins but I wasn't in the mood today. Even my best friend Issac stayed away because he knows me so well and knows just by looking at me to leave me be or not. 
                          
As soon as I walked in the house I saw Jake standing in the entrance way with his huge arms folded over his broad chest looking at me.
                          
"What?" I asked as soon as I turned to put my bag down, he was next to me gripping my arm a little tight, I tried to remove his hand but he wouldn't budge.
                          
"Your papa just found out he is pregnant, after all this time he is carrying and I promise you if you cause him any unnecessary stress with your bullshit attitude you have toward us, I will lock you up in the cells. I love you son I really do but I have no idea what to do with you. I have tried to help you in any way I can but you won't let me. I have always been there even if you don't see it. When you would have nightmares and night terrors I would be by your side trying to calm you down, I will always be there for you. You just need to let me. I miss my boy, I miss your smile your laugh, the look in your eyes when you would do something you love or are around the people you love. We all miss you son. I can't even being to imagine what happened to you, I may know the injuries you had but I wasn't there so I don't know and you keeping it in, it isn't helping you. It is causing you to be miserable and bitter and that isn't healthy. Just tell me please what I can do for you Con." He begged as tears fell from his green eyes looking at me as if he is trying to will me to talk to him but I can't, I can't talk about it. They will all think I'm weak and used.
                          
"I don't need nor do I want your help! Leave me the fuck alone and no, you weren't there because you fucking left me and papa! You didn't even know we were hurt until a couple hours later and it was to late, I was already taken and papa lost my little sibling all because you weren't fucking there so no I don't want your fucking help! Leave me alone and don't worry, I won't cause him any stress, don't want to be the reason he loses another baby unlike you!" I shouted and ran up to the suite and slammed the door shut behind me, causing the twins to jump and yelp. I didn't even look at them, just stormed past and went to my room and slammed my door and locked it. 
                          
He's lying, he doesn't want to help me, he left me in fucking jail for goddess sake! He is just trying to get me to open up to use it against me, to hurt me. I can't trust him, I can't trust anyone. 
                          
I strip and open my window and jump out and shift midair and land on my paws and take off into the forest. Running always helps me calm down so I ran to the boulder and shift back and sit on my knees looking up at my other dad. 
                          
I wish I could have met him, heard his voice, hugged by him, him teaching me things a dad teaches his son but no, he got murdered by a fucking psycho that Jake let live! 
                          
That's another reason why I don't want anything from him, how could he let my fathers killer live and live here with us?! I understand he's uncle Brian's mate but he killed my dad, leaving me with a huge part inside that can never be filled no matter how much papa tries.
                          
I don't hold anything against papa, he is to sweet of a man to do that to him. He took care of another man's child like I was his own. 
                          
I felt a soft hand on my bare shoulder and knew from the touch it was Issac, his touch doesn't make my skin burn like other's. He sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around my neck and held me and I wondered why until I felt my tears falling and that's when I lost it. 
                          
I am tired of hurting like I am. I am tired of hiding who I am but I can't let anyone close to me. Issac was there, he knows what happened so he never asks me to talk about it, he doesn't need to. He understands and doesn't push me to get help like Jake does all the time. At times I wish he would so I know someone else does want me to get help. I know my family does, they have tried in the past but after I flat out refused, they stopped but not Jake. He keeps on pushing it and doesn't give up no matter what I say or do to him.
                          
"You know what you said to dad wasn't right don't you? He is just trying to help you, he is your dad Connor so yelling at him like that when he is just trying to be there for you, is bullshit. I have been by your side since we were four but I can't sit by and watch you destroy your life and relationships with your family. At least you still have a dad to want to help you Connor. I don't and that is no one's fault but his own but I would give anything to have a dad like yours. You have no idea how lucky you are to have a family like you have. I know you don't like talking about it, I know your feelings and thoughts on this but man, you really need to get some type of help. Even if just going to the counselor in school and talking to one of the volunteers there, someone you don't know or knows you. Someone, anyone because you need to before it kills you by keeping it in." Issac said looking in my eyes, showing me he's serious. I never heard him say something so serious like this and give me the look he's giving me. 
                          
"I can't Issac, at least not now. I get all you said, I am not an idiot. I know alright I just can't right now." I said and he let me go and we shifted and went back to the pack house.