Chapter 72

                                    

                                          


                          
A week flew and our despair grew to tragic heights. Sarah's 11th birthday was spent with her in her deep sleep, though the doctor authorized us to be near her. So that day we were able to be with her and touch her, though through gloves. We talked a lot to her, not sure if she could hear us, probably not, but somehow it felt good to be that near to our princess one more time. As I said, the week gone, and the results all backfired us negative. We knew there was still a lot more results to come but each one coming back negative was a less point in hope and having just a week left, our despair was huge. We were not able to think of anything else. James pleaded to everyone he knew and so did I to test themselves, we were trapped, our hands were tied, since we had done everything we could.
                          
"Andrea, come to eat." He said opening the door of our room. I was in bed crying, unable to deal with another day spent at the hospital. He had ordered food.
                          
"I don't want to." I said whimpering a bit. He closed the door gently and approached me. The bed sank a bit as he sat on it and then he ran a hand through my hair. His eyes were swollen and red, he had also been crying, mine were even hurting. I didn't know one could cry as much as I did in the last days. I've always thought our tears would come to an end, but the salty liquid seemed an endless resource in the human body.
                          
"You have to sweetie. You've barely eaten the whole day. You have a baby inside of you, you have to think of him." He said. James's voice sounding sad and trembling a bit. I knew he was controlling himself not to cry in front of me.
                          
"I'm serious. I'm not hungry James." I said. Then I buried my face in my pillow and my body shook once more. Another attack of tears began, I sobbed loud...I could not control that. James lay his body next to mine and held me close against his body. His nose buried in my neck and he was shaking too. We cried together, I don't know for how long, but we stayed there for quite some time. He was also losing his hope, our efforts were just not enough and not being able to save our own daughter was just too much for us to take.
                          
"I don't want to lose her." I said loud, my voice coming out in hiccups. "James...we're gonna lose her. What are we going to do?"
                          
"I don't know...I just don't know..." He said clueless. I don't think I wanted an honest answer from him, I knew he didn't have one, I just wanted to let it all out. I prayed to God so many times during that week, I begged, I pleaded, I cried, I yelled at Him. I did all I was entitled to.
                          
"She's my little girl...she's ours...I can't live without her." I said.
                          
"I think we need to be strong." He whispered in my ear.
                          
"I don't wanna be strong." I said louder and turning on my back so I could look at him. His hand ran over my face cleaning my tears as I spoke. "I want her, I want her here with us because that's where she belongs. She's a piece of us, when we were so young. She means the world to me...I have been through so much since I had her...I just can't lose her, I can't."
                          
"And I met her less than a year ago, almost a year that is..."
                          
"Tell me we're not gonna lose her." I whispered, begging, looking into his blue eyes. They watered again and he bent over me, kissing my lips with his trembling ones.
                          
"We're not. I promise you." He whispered against my lips. His tears falling down my face and I knew he didn't believe the words he was telling me, but he was trying to rest my heart. That's what a lover do. James's cell rang in his pocket and that made him pull away from me. He cleaned his eyes before taking the call. He sat and then looked at the cell, I saw him getting tense and then he looked at me. His eyes showing fear. "It's from the hospital." He said. I sat right away and leaned my ear against his cell so I could hear the call too. My heart was beating franticly. I had lost all hope, so I was expecting for the worst news ever.