The L Word

                                    

                                          
     Loki stood over you, his daggers drawn, as he glared down at you. 
     You couldn't move, trapped between a tree and your boyfriend who you trusted completely, until today. 
      Now you didn't know if you were going to live or if you were going to die from the hands of someone who you trusted. 
    Your body hurt from being tossed around like a rag doll. Your head splitting from pain form where you hit it on the tree. 
     You looked up at Loki with actual fear in your eyes this time. You looked into his eyes pleading with him, but all you could see was rage. 
      Loki growled at you before bringing his dagger down upon you. 
    You lifted your arms up, using them to block against his oncoming attack. His dagger hit your right forearm, slicing through the skin and muscle tissue coming to a stop when it hit bone. 
     You cried out in pain, but stayed in that position to protect the more vital parts of your body. If you had not blocked with your arms Loki would have hit you in the chest with his dagger, and possibly your heart. 
     Loki's anger and rage vanished the moment your pained scream hit his ears. He didn't mean to hurt you. His rage took over his actions. Your quick movements had caught him off guard and he forgot that you were only human. He wasn't going full out on you. No, he was fighting you like he fought his brother when he was upset. His brother would have not gotten this hurt. His brother would never had let it get this far.
      He removed his dagger from your forearm dropping it almost instantly. The moment he did you scrambled sideways standing up to face him, not sure if the fight was over or not. You cradled your hurt arm to your chest using your left hand to try and stop the blood from pouring out. You bent down into fighting position again, keeping your knees bent and ready to run in any direction. Your eyes full of fear. 
       "(Y/n)..." Loki said with horror in his eyes at what he had just done to you. "I am so sorry."
        "It was my fault." You told Loki your voice shaking from fear. Your whole body shook from fear and adrenaline. "I shouldn't have pushed you." 
      He took a step towards you, his arms out like he wanted to comfort you. But you quickly stepped back gaining more distance between you and him. 
      "(Y/n) I..." Loki began but you cut him off.
       "It was my fault." You said again mostly to yourself. "Maybe if I moved slower, or maybe if I had gained your trust more this wouldn't have happened." In horseback riding if the rider got hurt it was never the horse's fault. It was always the rider's fault. You were no stranger to taking the blame and figuring out a way to do better next time. 
     Your stupidly shocked brain was processing what had just happened as if Loki was one of your horses, and not a perfectly intelligent being who should know that their actions had consequences. 
     Horses was what you knew, not people. 
    "Let me help you." Loki bid you gently as he tried to get closer to you. 
      "No!" You practically yelled. Shuffling backwards away from him once again. "It was my fault. I can fix this." 
     "It wasn't your fault (y/n)." Loki told you gently with heart break in his voice. He knew he had just lost all of your trust, if not you yourself. "It was mine. And I am so so sorry. Please let me make it up to you." 
      "It was my fault." You repeated again out of shock. You then felt a wave of nausea come over you from where you hit your head. 
      You stumbled back falling on your knees trying your hardest not to throw up in the beautiful garden. Because that was important right now.
    You hunched over, letting your hair fall into your face as you steadied your breathing to help the nauseous feeling go away. After a few minutes it finally went way and you looked up at Loki still out of it from what had just happened. 
     He was standing there, looking absolutely crushed. You wouldn't let him get close to you, nor would you let him help you in any way, shape, or form. 
      "I don't feel very good." You told Loki stupidly, your face pale and sweaty. "I think I will go back to my room now." 
      You stumbled to your feet, your injured arm still cradled to your chest. Your once lovely purple dress was now blood red from your ever bleeding arm.
      You limped over to the opening you had crawled through leaving Loki behind as you did so. 
*
    You limped through the garden back to the palace leaving a trail of pond water and blood behind.
    Loki didn't fallow you, he felt like a monster for what he had done. 
     "(Y/n)!" Thor boomed happily when he saw you from a distance. "Mother has sent me to come check in you. You have been gone for quite some time. Have you any luck tracking  down that brother of mine?" 
     Thor's face fell when he finally took in your gait and appearance. "(Y/n)?" Thor asked worriedly as he briskly walked over to your limping form. 
      You stumbled when he got to you but he caught you by your shoulders keeping you up right. "I found Loki." You told him still out of it from the shock. "You might want to go check up on him. He looked sad when I left him in the garden." 
       Thor looked you over, dripping wet from the pond and dripping blood from your arm. You also were covered in bruises from being tossed around. 
      "Who did this to you." Thor asked you, his voice serious his eyes full of worry.
       "Loki." You told him simply. "He didn't mean it though. It was my fault." You then swayed on your feet the world spinning out of control. "I think I need to lay down." You told Thor before you collapse in his arms.
*
    You woke up in a nice comfy bed surrounded by pillows. You sat up groaning from your sore body. 
      "Why dose it feel like I was just thrown into oncoming traffic?" You asked yourself out loud, thinking no one was there.
      "The queen told us you were attacked by a bandit." A lady told you calmly. You looked around to see one of the queen's healers in the room with you as well. She was looking over a few papers as she spoke. 
       As you looked around you quickly realized you were in a private healing room that was set aside for important people. 
      You didn't feel like an important person. 
      "Here." The healer told you as she came over to the side of your bed to hand you a vile. "This will help with what little pain you have left." 
      You thanked her as you took the vile.
      "The queen healed you herself." The healer continued. "She said you had a slight concussion, a sprained ankle, and a deep cut from a dagger. Other than that you were just bruised." 
       "Nothing that hasn't  been hurt before then." You summed up. "Well..." you thought for a moment, "the dagger is new."
       "You've had concussions before then?" The healer asked you as she looked you over for any more injuries. You chuckled at that.
       "Yeah." You confirmed, "I've had concussions before. I'm not exactly the most cautious person when it comes to having fun." 
        The healer gave you a calm warm smile. "So I've heard." The healer finished with your exam before stepping back. "You are to change the bandages on your arm once every day to keep it from getting infected." She told you sternly to make sure she was being heard. "The concussion is mostly gone and your ankle is all the way healed. Just take it easy for a few days so you don't accidentally reinjure yourself. Other than that the queen said you were free to go once you woke up." 
     You thanked the healer politely before you climbed out of the bed to go on your way looking for Loki. You realized you were wearing a soft medical gown the injured patients wore. Though it was soft, and you were one of the injured patients, it wasn't the most appropriate thing to wear while wondering the palace. 
      It wasn't that it was reviling in any way. It was just not something most people wore around. Like how scrubs for doctors are super soft a comfortable, but only doctors wear them.
      Only injured people in the healing wing wore the medical gown. 
      So before you went to go looking for your disappearing boyfriend you stopped by your suit first to change into something a little more appropriate. Nothing too fancy though, all the fancy dresses were extremely confusing to put on by ones self. Especially if that one grew up on earth with only wearing pants and shirts most of the time.
      You went down the hall to Loki's room. You gently knocked on the door as you waited for someone to answer. 
      Most of the time you would knock and walk in at the same time. But you had a feeling Loki was still on edge with everything that had happened lately. You wanted to be as calm and predictable as possible to try and calm him down. 
      The door opened to show Loki on the other side. His emotionless court mask dropped the moment when he saw it was you who was knocking on his door. He looked ashamed and scared for what he thought you would think of him now. 
     "May I come in?" You asked him gently when he didn't move from his spot in the middle of the doorway.
      He bowed his head ever so slightly before taking a step to the side. A silent invitation for you to come in. 
      You walked in normally going over to his bed to sit on it. This was going to be a long conversation and you were going to be comfortable.
       "Why did you come to find me?" Loki asked you a bit hesitantly once you were settled in. He was standing a good six feet away from you. Afraid to come any closer and scare you away. 
      "What time are we talking about?" You asked him to make sure you were on the same page. "Right now, when I came here to your room to find you? Or the time I went to the garden?" 
       "Both." Loki told you, never once making eye contact. 
        "I looked for you in the garden because I care about you Loki." You told him kindly. "I wanted to make sure you were ok. It's dangerous to be alone with self deprecating thoughts. I wanted to help you with your inner anger and self loathing." You stopped to see if Loki wanted to say anything. 
      He didn't. So you continued.
      "I came looking for you right now because I wanted to tell you that I don't hold anything against you. It was clear you weren't yourself. That I thought I could help you when I obviously couldn't." 
      You looked to Loki to see if he was hearing you out. But he still wouldn't look at you. 
     You sighed looking down at your hands as you started to pick at your palms. "If you don't forgive me I will understand." You told Loki, your voice soft. "I placed you in that situation." 
      "But I hurt you (y/n)." Loki finally said. "I attacked you. How can you ever forgive a monster like me?" 
       "Your not a monster Loki." You told him firmly. "I don't think you meant to hurt me. But I am a human and you are a Asgardian. You just forgot that for a moment." When Loki didn't say anything you stood up from his bed and went over to him. 
       He didn't move, or try to hold you back when you approached him. You wrapped your arms around his thin figure and held him to you. 
      You felt him tense, he didn't want to hurt you again. But he wouldn't. You knew he wouldn't. 
       "I love you." You told him.
        The words you were so scared to tell him. The words you were scared to admit were true even to yourself. Were now out and heard. There was no denying them now. 
       Loki stilled, unsure if he heard you right. "What?" He asked you. There was a long pause from you before you answered him again.
       "I love you." You told him, your voice had fear in it this time. Scared he did not share your feelings. 
      Loki looked down at you, shocked, but this time it was you who would not look at him. You had your face buried in his chest, to embarrassed to look at him. 
       Loki tied to look for the lie within your words. But to his disbelief he could not find it. You really truly loved him.
        Loki wrapped his arms around you, holding you to himself just how you held him to yourself. "I love you too." Loki told you as he held you tightly, afraid of loosing you. 
      "You do?" You asked him looking up at him. 
      He moved, and before you knew it his lips crashed with your's as he kissed you lovingly. You kissed him back just as lovingly. 
      When he was done he stood back up as he smiled down at you, leaving you breathless. "Dose that answer your question?" He asked you with a smirk. 
        "Your taking my job." You grumbled at him in reply, too embarrassed to say anything else. You were never good with things like feelings. "I'm the one who breaks the tension." But your flushed pink cheeks answered his question for him. 
       Loki wrapped you in another hug, just happy he did not loose you to his own stupidity. "Thank you." Loki muttered against your hair. 
      "For what?" You asked him.
      "Telling me that you love me." 
       "It's the truth." 
        "I know." Loki told you as he kissed the top of your head. "I love you too."