26

                                    

                                          
With the biggest attitude ever, I get out of my car. My anger towards River made me care less about what people thought. I lock up the car and walk towards the school doors. My head is high up and I just stare in front of me instead of watching the people that intensely staring at me and gossiping about how my dad is in jail. Ts gossips. They never end. 
                          
I really don't care anymore. 
                          
I just smirk while my eyes search for one particular person. He is as always leaning against his car at the front of the parking lot at his usual spot. My smirk grows even bigger while I approach him. As I am walking towards his direction, I grab something out of my purse. It's a copy of one of the documents on his sister. Their is written in big lines that she has serieus mental problems. 
                          
He notices me coming his way. I can see how he is a little shocked about how I am acting right in front of everyone. Everyone thinks I am quiet and calm but when it comes to my family I can be the loudest in this whole motherfucking school. 
                          
I stop in front of him. 
                          
I hand the document to him without another word. He looks suspiciously at me but curiosity takes over him and I notice it damn well. He pulls out his hand out of his leather jacket but when he's about to grab the document, I let it fall to the ground. 
                          
'Oops', I finally speak innocently while smirking. 
                          
Everyone is looking at us because they have never seen me interact with the biggest freak of our school. Literally all eyes are on us but for the first time in my entire life I give zero fucks. 
                          
With angry eyes, he grabs it from the ground. This means he is dying to know what's in the document. I analyse him while he calmly opens the document. All the color in his face is gone once he starts reading it. Somehow it doesn't feel right deep
inside, but I push that guilty feeling away. 
                          
River's eyes meet mine and I can see the hurt in them. So that's his hurtfull spot. Weak spot. His sister. I feel bad for him. But then I remember what he did to my family. My dad may never get out. 
                          
'You're just as crazy as your psycho sister', I speak every word out with absolute hate. Then without glancing at River again, I walk up to a random groups of teens who are busy gossiping about what this is about between River and I. They look weirdly at me as I am standing right in fron of them. Then I stop and grab hundreds of copy's from that document out of my purse. I hand it over to them and smile.
                          
I walk to almost everyone and hand the document to literally every pupil. Once I am done the whole school is walking with a copy of the document, then I look at River again, his eyes are completely hurt. But not as hurt as mine were, that's when I decide my job is done for today. I search for Amara and Neomi who are also walking with a document. 
                          
'I thought you liked him', Neomi speaks confused while showing me the document. 
                          
'That was before he turned my dad in.'
                          
I smile to myself as I look around. Everyone is invested in the document and what is written. Some pupils yells things at River like 'freak' or 'psycho' while I just keep smiling. I never thought I would be capable of something like this. But guess what, this is all just the beginning. 
                          
My eyes meet his. Those beautiful eyes that always made my breathing stop and my heart beat faster. Those eyes that observed my every move. Those eyes that intensely stared at me during the party. Thos eyes that were filled with absolute anger when he punched Adam right in the face. Those eyes that saw everything what happend when my dad got arrested. Thos eyes that turned him in. 
                          
I smirk at him. He looks at me with wide eyes, but he quikly adjusts. And with another emotionless expression, River walks through the hall. It's just like it didn't affect him one bit even though just five minutes ago when I was standing in front of me, he was about to break my neck. It affects me because I want him to feel sad and angry or even furious, I want him to feel something. When he walks by our shoulder bump against eachother and I step back by the sudden contact.
                          
~
                          
I have changed my schedule. After a long ass talk with the director, he let me transfer to the other art class. This means I won't have any classes with River anymore because art is my only class with him. If I want my attraction to him fade away, I need to interact less and less with him. And when I find the secrets I need, then I will be completely ready to confront him witht zero attraction to him. I have to say my plan is pretty genius. 

                          
But I still ask myself over and over again. How could I be stupid ? Tears well up in my eyes just by thinking about my dad again. God I miss him so much. And River, he just used me. He had absolutely no interest in me at all. He just needed me to get my dad in jail for some sick reason. 
                          
I inhale and outhale slowly while I place my hand on my stomach. I am about to have another episode again. This is definitely not the place for it. I walk out of the director's office. Actually I have physics right now but I can't go there while feeling like this. 
                          
My steps are slow and quiet. I walk while inhaling and outhaling deeply. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I want to cry and scream at the same time but I don't dare let my tears fall, not in the hallway of school even though everyone is in class right now, I cannot do that. 
                          
I hear steps behind me but I don't think much of it. I don't even bother looking behind me. I walk into te direction of the toilets when suddenly I feel a hand turn me around my grabbing my shoulders. 
                          
Now I am faced to some of the beautiful eyes in the world. I quietly look into his eyes. His lips are pursed on eachother while he observes my current state. I look like a ghost and my eyes are filled with tears while my hand is still on my stomach. I am having a panic attack while facing River West. Excellent.
                          
~