Chapter 16

                                    

                                          


                          
"You might want to sit down for this one" I gulp and gesture to one of the armchairs by the small TV. I'm already dreading this and I haven't even begun explaining anything. Curse me and my drinking! I'm never touching alcohol again! 
                          
"Sit down for what exactly?" Spike ask me incredulously with one hand on his hip and the other one swinging wildly in the air. 
                          
"Ehrm-eh-um-urm" I stutter, it's not even funny how not ready I am to have this conversation. 
                          
"Cease your stuttering, Ana. Now come on, tell the big bad what this chit chat about soulmates is about" He tries to grin but it comes out as more of a grimace. 
                          
"If you sit down I'll tell you" I repeat with an annoyed look on my face. 
                          
The vampire obediently plop down on the chair and expectantly look up at me. "So? Enlighten me" 
                          
"We're soulmates" I declare with a blank look on my face. 
                          
"You've already said that" Spike point out with an annoyed glare. "I want to know, you know, more" 
                          
I sigh and sit down in the chair besides him. "I was walking around the other day, in that park I like, and I was sitting on this bench watching the ducks when a woman came and sat down besides me. She was the one who told me that we're soulmates" 
                          
He burst out laughing, a real belly laugh too. "A bloody woman told you that we're soulmates and you take her word as gospel. I thought you were smart, not some superstitious-I-don't-even-know-what-else-woman" 
                          
"She's a witch" And that, my friends, is how you shut one William the bloody up. 
                          
"Oh, oh, OH" He burst out, flying out of the chair. It seems like it didn't shut him up, if anything it made him angry. "So a witch comes along, sits down next to you and all of a sudden she's not a stranger anymore. God, Ana. It's like you wanted this to happen" He accuse me with a crazed look in his eyes.
                          
"You're honestly saying that I wanted this to happen? That I wanted to be told that we're soulmates? That's ridiculous" 
                          
"No, I don't think it is. I see it now, I shouldn't have been so blind. This is why you're against Dru, isn't it?! You're jealous of her." 
                          
"You're being ridiculous Spike. I didn't ask for this!" I shout at him, standing up from the chair. "It's starting to look like this is something you want"  
                          
"That doesn't make any sense, love" He bitterly chuckles. "Who'd imagine, my best friend going behind my back like this"
                          
I stare at him with an incredulous look on my face. "Like this? I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. Do you even hear what's coming out of your mouth?"
                          
"Of course I do, I'm not soddin' deaf!" Spike sighs heavily and pulls a hand through his hair. "Now calm down and please tell me that this is just one big joke" 
                          
"I can't do that. I wish it was just a big joke, I wish that we could just have a laugh and then go back to the way things used to be. But we can't, because it's not a joke and we can never go back to the way things was. Now, I'm drunk out of my mind and I'm making all the wrong choices so if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep." I declare strongly to him, my chin raised high and back straight. We will do this on my terms. 
                          
After a long much needed nap I was feeling much readier for that conversation. The one conversation I have never thought about having with Spike, never in my wildest dreams have I ever thought about the two of us together. Come to think of it, if Spike and I are soulmates then why haven't either of us felt a connection. Oh, that's right. Drusilla asked Teah to cast a spell to hide it, I almost forgot about that. Yippi.