1.9

                                    

                                          
Chapter 19
                          
"You make it so easy to fall so hard..."
                          
I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I'm done with being sad and lonely, people don't need to be miserable because of me. I got dressed nicely and ran downstairs. I took the pancake mix, eggs, and bacon out and started cooking. 
"What smells so good?" Justin asked coming in.
"Breakfast butthead," I smiled.
He smirked and grabbed a plate. 
"Why thank you," he smiled again.
"No problem," I told him.
We both talked and laughed as we ate breakfast at the table. After breakfast he got ready and we decided to go around the city a bit. Some fans recognized me and asked for a picture and gladly Justin took them for the girls. I smiled at a teenage girl who had tears in her eyes as we passed. By the time we got to the Apple store we had a small mob behind us. Quickly we went into the store and found what we needed. As I turned around I noticed there were police and security everywhere. 
"Holy shit!" Justin said.
I turned around and saw thousands of girls swarming the streets.
"What the hell?" I asked.
"No offense but are they all ere for you?" Justin asked.
I just shook my head and watched in disbelief as the girls grew in number. 
"Hi are you Mara?" Someone asked.
I turned again to see a cop. 
"Yes?" I told him.
He lead me to a back room and told me to stay here while they get the mob in control. 
"Well now we're stuck," Justin sighed.
"I'm sorry," I told him.
He laughed and smiled.
"Are you kidding I've gotten so much attention today! I'm all good," he laughed. 
I laughed with him and smiled.
                          
_____
                          
After we were escorted out of the store we went back to Justin's house. As he unlocked the door I saw Zayn. 
"ZAYN!" I cried running to him. 
He smiled and laughed spinning me around. 
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I'm here to see you, we all came." He said.
Soon all the 1D and 5SOS guys came out and hugged me. Except Niall.
"How has he been?" I asked.
The room fell silent. 
"You want the truth?" Calum asked.
I nodded slowly.
"He's been awful," Liam told me.
"He tried to kill himself Mar," Luke told me.
I fell to my knees, I didn't believe it at first, but as he walked into the room his eyes were blood shot and he was a mess.
"Niall?" I asked.
He nodded and hugged me. I slowly wrapped my arms around him, but I was scared. Who the hell had he become when I left? 
                          
________
                          
~Dinner~
                          
Once dinner was over Niall and I went to talk outside. 
"I know I look awful," he said once the door was closed. 
"Yeah you do sorry," I whispered.
"I'm in love with you Mara," he told me.
"I know Niall, and I just can't be in a relationship right now." I told him.
"Why? We both love each other." He shouted.
"Because I need sometime after being so heartbroken to finally find who I am. I have to make time for the people who were there for me when you left," I told him. 
"I flew all the way out here for you Mara, I rescheduled shows for you. Mara I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Niall thats the point, I can't be the reason why the band breaks up. I don't want to be the reason you fly hundreds of miles and the reason you reschedule shows. I'm not trying to be a bitch but sorry doesn't cut it with you anymore. You hurt me and I'm so fucking done Niall. My friends need me to be happy, and I'm not sure being with you again will make me happy." I truthfully said.
He nodded and opened the door to go back inside.
"Mara I don't care if you think you are gonna ruin the band because honestly money and fame is nothing compared to you. I really am sorry but I'd give up my dream any day for you. Because Mara lately I've been thinking, I never really lived my biggest dream," he said.
"What's you biggest dream?" I asked.
"Being with you, having a family. Settling down and watching the kids play at the park. Sitting with all the boys I used to play soccer with, wishing we were still young. Wishing we could go back to that one game. I gave up that big dream to live this other one, now I just want to stop and be with you." He told me.
"I-I can't be the reason the band ends Niall. Think of the other boys, think of the fans." I told him.
"I know Mara, I'm still in the band because of those things. I'm just trying to live two dreams at once." He said.
"I'm sorry that you feel that way Niall. I'm in love with you, but I can't." I whispered.
"I'm sorry Mara. I can't say it enough times." He told me.
"I know. You can say sorry a million times, but it's never going to matter anymore." I whispered.
"I just want you to know, if there wasn't things in the way of giving up the dream I'm living, I would give it up in a heartbeat just for you," he whispered. 
                          
Then he shut the door and was out of my life for 2 years.