Chapter Thirty-Five

                                    

                                          
Arthit leaned heavily against the car door, arms crossed, and pressed his forehead against the window. He spent the entire journey like this, glaring at the rapidly passing foliage. With Knot driving and Prem occupying the front passenger seat, Arthit was all alone in the back and free to mull over his precarious situation with Kongpob without disruption.
                          
After meeting with Namtan on Sunday, he'd tried not to think about it too much and threw himself into his studies, using it as an excuse to avoid Kongpob for a few days. The possibility that Kongpob might come to regret their relationship weighed heavily on his mind, and he needed time to work through his conflicted feelings.
                          
But he'd missed him too much to stay away for long. After two days, he'd shamefully dragged Prem to the library to "study," knowing that Kongpob would be there with his friends. He hadn't talked to him, but at least he got to see him for a few minutes and it'd made him feel a little better. On Wednesday evening, he'd taken to periodically lingering out on his balcony in hopes of catching a glimpse of his boyfriend on the other side, but he hadn't seen him at all. So, by Thursday, he'd already decided to nonchalantly mention to Kongpob that he had some free time that evening if he wanted to hang out.
                          
That is, until Kongpob came to Praepailin's defense at the canteen. Hearing Bright describe Kongpob's behavior as possessive and inquire as to whether or not they were dating felt like someone had poured salt on a wound that hadn't yet healed. A petty jealousy flared up inside him, smoldering just beneath the surface, and he'd ended up lashing out in anger when he felt Kongpob grab his arm.
                          
He just couldn't get the image of Kongpob laughing and conversing happily with her at the movies out of his mind, nor could he forget that Kongpob could have a future with her that he couldn't have with him. It hurt to think that he might be happier with someone else, and it pained him to think that Kongpob might like Praepailin a little bit.
                          
Still, no matter how much he was hurting, he shouldn't have treated Kongpob the way he did. He regretted that now. Arthit sighed heavily and closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it anymore.
                          
Once they arrived at their destination, Arthit forced himself to stop obsessing over his relationship and focused on working with Knot and Prem to gather the necessary data to complete their project. But his mood never lifted, and by the time they stopped by an outdoor market to buy gifts for their juniors, Arthit had started thinking about it again. He listlessly walked alongside Knot as they meandered through the market, sighing every few minutes.
                          
Finally, Knot apparently had enough of his incessant sighing and came to an abrupt halt, turning toward him with pinched brows. "Hey, Arthit. Did you leave your mouth at home? Or did you fight with your lover?"
                          
Arthit slipped his hands into his pockets. "What?" he asked, pretending like the question was absurd. "I don't have a lover yet." However, Arthit noticed that his friend was obviously not impressed by his acting skills, and he stopped forcing himself to smile. He sighed, and put a reassuring hand on Knot's back. "It's really nothing. I just have a small headache."
                          
"Okay..."
                          
Arthit slowed his pace and let his eyes roam the busy market, taking in all the various products available. He'd already bought a small gift for his line and co-line juniors—Ple, Koi, and Kongpob—but he didn't feel right only giving Kongpob the same generic gift as everyone else. His had to be special; it had to mean something.
                          
As they walked, he continued to look for a suitable gift, but nothing felt right until he spotted a stall selling thin leather bracelets. He stopped in front of the shop, considering them. Rather than that dirty white string Kongpob insisted on wearing, one of these would look much better on his wrist.