[not texts] i wanna feel something again

                                    

                                          
When Whizzer reaches out to gently hold onto Jason's should and mouths, "Thank you." and when his knees buckle, barely keeping him upright, they know that this is it.
                          
Trina gently blows out the candles as Charlotte and Marvin help Whizzer lay down, and brings Jason out of the room, Mendel and Cordelia following close behind.
                          
Charlotte strokes Whizzer's far too bony shoulder and gives Whizzer a soft kiss on his forehead, before looking at Marvin with a sad smile. And with that, she exits the room, leaving the two alone.
                          
Marvin knows this is it when Whizzer calls out his name in a rough, dry voice, "Marvin?" After hearing his name, Marvin immediately goes to lie down on the bed with his lover.
                          
"Marvin?" Whizzer's tearful voice calls out to him,
                          
"Yes, love?" Marvin mumbles against what's left of Whizzer's hair,
                          
"You know i'll always love you right?" Whizzer whispers,
                          
"I know. I love you more than anything, Whiz." Marvin whispers back,
                          
"I'm so scared Marv." Whizzer chokes back a sob,
                          
"I know, it'll be okay love, i'm right here." Marvin replies, planting a kiss on Whizzer's cheek,
                          
If anyone asked, God, especially if Jason ever asked, Marvin would tell them Whizzer passed in his sleep. Marvin would tell them that he couldn't even feel it, that it was peaceful.
                          
But it wasn't. Not at all. Not with Whizzer's harsh, shallow breaths. Or his occasional cough, that sounded like he was hacking up a lung.
                          
If Marvin wasn't paying attention to every little thing about Whizzer, he wouldn't have noticed a breath much more painful, and harsher than the rest. He wouldn't have noticed Whizzer go still underneath his touch.
                          
But he notices. He notices the exact second Whizzer's breath gave out. He notices suddenly how stiff his lover his against his body. And he notices the heart monitor give one long beep. The sound of the heart monitor, indicating Whizzer had died, will be a sound that will follow him around forever.
                          
He doesn't even realize the tears falling down his face as he cuddles Whizzer's body. He doesn't even realize how long he's been laying here, alone, until Charlotte gently opens the door, and he can hear her light footsteps making her way over to the hospital bed.
                          
Charlotte comfortingly rubs his back as he sobs against Whizzer's corpse.
                          
"Marvin? Honey? It's time to go. Trina, Jason and Mendel already left, Cordelia's taking you home." She says, voice softer than he's ever heard,
                          
"I can't leave him here alone, Char." He cries, now moving to sit up, but still holding onto Whizzer's hand,
                          
"He won't be alone, Marv, he'll always be with you." Charlotte says as she helps him stand up, barely letting go of his lover's hand,
                          
"I'd do it again you know." Marvin whispers in her ear as she holds him while he sobs,
                          
"Do what again, Marv?" She asks quietly,
                          
"Everything." Is all Marvin replies with as he lets her drag him out of the room.
                          
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"I wonder what it was like when Whizzer left." Jason asked suddenly, in the almost identical hospital room they were in no longer than a year ago, playing with the sheets in the bed, laying next to Marvin,
                          
"It was peaceful, he couldn't even feel what was happening." Marvin lies, because after all, that's what he wants Jason to think it'll be like when he leaves to be with Whizzer