Some People Are Yuck As Fuck

                                    

                                          
Date: December 23rd 2006
                          
I squeeze my eyes tight, not wanting to see, hear or be apart of the human race anymore. I wasn't in the mood for music. I wasn't in the mood for anything. I was kinda just emotionless. Everything I did felt so wrong. 
                          
Yesterday I went to the mall with Gee. It was an awful experience but I didn't want him to know that. He needed to get some stuff for Christmas and I thought I'd tag along. We walked into the mall and went into target first. By this time I'd already been anxious, the squeak that my shoes made sounded too loud and it felt like everywhere I went there was people staring at me.
                          
Just before check out two girls came up to Gerard  and asked for a picture, they didn't see me, I mean I don't blame them they just saw their idol in target there is no way in hell they would see a girl standing nearby. 
                          
Once the two girls left we payed for the stuff and Gerard offered  to take me to go see what Hot Topic had. Hot Topic was that one shop that nobody you knew had been to but you heard about it in whispers of excitment. I heard about the band shirts and other alternative things they had. I didn't really feel up to it but I said yes anyway. 
                          
The shop was huge. With overhanging, dim lights and shelves that were stacked all the way to the ceiling.
                          
Gerard picked out a Queen shirt and I continued looking, I went further into the store with every click of hangers and every word that I could hear being amplified. I'd been stupid enough to not take my earphones with which meant there was no way for me to control the sensory overload.
                          
I spotted the girls from earlier looking at a rack of My Chem merch. I instinctively hid behind the clearance rack and waited for them to move on. 
                          
One of  them  had bright green hair and a lip piercing, she looked over in my direction and said something to the other girl with a choker on and half pink and half black hair. 
                          
I knew it was about me. I held back my tears. In reality, they probably hadn't even seen me but my brain told me that the worst possible thing had happened.
                          
I didn't know where Gerard was and I was too scared to move incase they  saw me. I felt my heart accelerate. I hated feeling like this. I hated that I feel so pathetic in public, it's not like I'm even doing anything wrong I'm just hyper aware and everything  seemed like a bigger task then it actually was. 
                          
The girl with half pink hair walked closer to the rack I was hiding behind and I begged Gerard to come looking for me. I swollwed back the fear that was arising in the back of my throat and prepared myself for social confrontation
                          
"Hi there" she said poking her head over the rack "we saw you in Target with Gerard right? " 
                          
I cringed as I stepped out from behind the rack. Staring back at them they looked maybe a year older then me but it might of just been the amount of piercings and make up they had. 
                          
Why were they being nice? This was a joke right? There's no way they would actually be nice to me. This has to be a set up for something. 
                          
Agaisnt my better judgment I returned the greeting. Its not like i wanted to be rude or anything. I was just so socially pathetic that i cant form coherent sentances in front of strangers.
                          
"Oh yeah, h-hi... Im T-Taylor" i awkwardly waved but it looked more like a limp jazz hand and i felt myself blush.
                          
"So like... What are you doing with Gerard?"
                          
I really didn't  want all the questions but i didn't want to come off as rude or stuck up.
                          
"Oh um well you see he kinda just-" before i finished my sentance i was cut off by the girl with green hair and torn stokings.