Chapter 3

                                    

                                          
It's five in the morning and I'm doing paperwork on my porch. Isn't that fun? I decided that there was no point in trying to get more sleep. Nightmares plagued my dreams last night. Luckily, I didn't wake up Olivia. I woke up at three and I couldn't fall back asleep. Especially since I threw up. 
                          
But, after taking a shower and coming outside, I feel much better. The cool air woke me up and the paperwork gave me something else to focus on. I knew I had to deal with the nightmares eventually but right now I just wanted to relax. 
                          
The familiar smell of vanilla and cinnamon hinted that my mate was near. I focused on my paperwork, hoping he'd just ignore me. I mean I know it wouldn't work but it's nice to pretend sometimes. "Did you have a nightmare again?" He asked. Concern laced his voice. Why is he concerned? It's probably fake, right? 
                          
I hummed my response but kept my focus on my work. I honestly don't know why it's so hard to ignore him. Artemis has been dormant since I had escaped which means I don't have her constantly nagging me about my mate. It also means I can't shift which I don't mind. I've learned to adapt. However, I miss having her with me but she blamed me for Alpha Zaine leaving us. So, she left to.
                          
Alpha Zaine sat on the chair next to mine causing me to tense slightly. Focus on my work. That's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to let him distract me. "Do you ever have time for yourself?" He questioned.
                          
"Right now until you sat down," I told him, forcing a smile. 
                          
He chuckled, "You were doing paperwork. That doesn't count." I shook my head and went back to paperwork. I was almost done with everything but now I can't focus. Goddess, how is he so distracting? 
                          
Both of us sat in silence while I pretended to work. My mind was more worried about Alpha Zaine. We are soul mates yet he left. Now, I want him to leave again. But why? Having him here was not bad. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid of him. I know in a fight we are equally matched. However, I'm afraid that the longer he's here, I might end up getting attached. 
                          
I'm afraid that I'll fall in love with him and he'll leave me again. I'm afraid that all of this is fake and he doesn't really care. But I'm also afraid it's real. What if he really cares? What if he really likes me? What if he likes me and I end up disappointing him again? But what if I don't? What if everything works out?
                          
Alpha Black told me I didn't deserve a mate. I don't believe him. But my mate is- was an arsehole. He made me feel worthless and left me broken yet part of me hopes everything will work out. 
                          
Nonetheless, I don't really have time for a mate and the problems that come with him. I have two business and a pack to run. Also, a four-year-old to take care of. I simply didn't have time for the drama.
                          
"You think too much," Alpha Zaine said. I looked at him in awe as he handed me a cup of coffee. I didn't even realise he left. I'm really out of it. I thanked him as I grabbed the coffee. Pure black coffee. Goddess, I love coffee so much. "So, what were you thinking about?" He asked.
                          
You. "Nothing important," I chuckled. "I need to talk to Doctor Lee today." Technically true. Kind of. I do have to talk with her today but it wasn't what I was thinking about.
                          
"Speak of the devil and she shall appear," Emma laughed. "What can I do for you, Alpha? Did you have another nightmare?"
                          
Both Alpha Zaine and Rosa looked at me intently, silently waiting for my answer. I sighed, "Yes but-"
                          
Rosa cut me off and said, "Is it his fault? I'll kick his arse if you want."
                          
"Why the hell would it be my fault?" He growled.
                          
I rolled my eyes. It's too early for this. Rosa started to answer but I cut her off. There was no way I was going to let him know. "Because I'm scared of Alphas. Now, my nightmares aren't what I wanted to speak about," I stated. "I wanted to know if you've checked on Sophia. She seems to be doing completely fine but I'm not a doctor."