Chapter 23: Christmas Party

                                    

                                          
Y/N POV
                          
I'd spent more than half the year with my father.
                          
It was Christmas in a few days.
                          
I'll admit, perhaps I'd lost sight of what I truly wanted.
                          
I knew I didn't want to be like my father, yet I don't think I was working hard enough to get away either.
                          
But then I saw Thomas at the docks.
                          
And I remembered where I wanted to be.
                          
However, getting shot helped me stay away again.
                          
And then my father let the world know who I was.
                          
I'll admit, the power... The power was incredible.
                          
I knew that no one would even want to face me.
                          
Perhaps that's what I loved.
                          
But I had to remind myself that I could still be who I am and go back to the right side.
                          
Just shoot your father in his sleep and leave, y/n.
                          
I wish it were that simple.
                          
You know in movies where the bad guys clearly knew they were going to die, clearly knew they were on the wrong side, yet stayed loyal to their leader?
                          
I wasn't a killer if I didn't need to be.
                          
And even if I had the guts to kill my own father, I'd have so many more lives to shed from his minions, lives and blood I didn't need on my hands.
                          
He'd already put some there, as I'd been traveling around the world these past months doing "deeds."
                          
I couldn't help but visit Thomas again after returning home once, the messages he left for me to find, even if I knew it put everyone in danger, but I tried my best to make him stay away from me.
                          
Everytime I wanted to give up and run back to him, thinking we could do this together, the image of his innocent little family burned in my mind.
                          
I felt heavy, like gravity was pulling me back towards him, but I fought my way forward and back to Gio.
                          
If I tried to kill my father, I'd have more people to kill.
                          
And I only killed if I could justify myself about it.
                          
If I wanted law enforcement's help, Gio had enough information on Thomas, or at least his organization, to take him and/or his men down.
                          
If I wanted Thomas' help, it would put both him and his family in danger.
                          
I thought about my options every single day.
                          
Truth is, I was lost.
                          
All I knew is that I loved Thomas and I hated this.
                          
Giovanni: "Where were you?"
                          
Y/n: "Just survelliance."
                          
Giovanni: "And how are the Hollands?"
                          
I just shrug as I walk by.
                          
Giovanni: "How's that little family of his?"
                          
I clench my teeth as a shiver travels up my spine.
                          
Giovanni: "Remember our deal, mia principessa-"
                          
Y/n: "You don't have to remind me."
                          
Giovanni: "I don't like it, you know? As long as you obey everything I say..."
                          
I run my hand along the wounds on my body and flinch, not from the pain, but the circumstances.
                          
Giovanni: "Choose your side wisely," he says as he stands up and walks out of the room.