twenty-two

                                    

                                          
"I thought you said nothing was going on between the two of you." Kelly sounds irritated as we walk hurriedly through the hallway. He turns to look at me, awaiting my response. He seems annoyed but I don't understand why.
                          
"There isn't," I answer, unsure of why I feel the need to justify my actions.
                          
"Sure didn't look that way. I don't have many friends, but the ones I have, wouldn't be touching me that way, or standing so close that they could feel my lips with their own!"
                          
"What?" Now I'm the one who is annoyed. Who does he think he is, speaking to me that way? He's known me all of 48 hours, if that. "You know, just because you know who I am, doesn't mean you know me." 
                          
Ever since I found out about this whole Mod thing, it feels like people think they know everything about me or that they have some sort of claim over me because of my elite status.
                          
"Right," he frowns. "You're right. I don't know who you are."
                          
"And why do you even care if something is going on between Wyler and I? Not that there is." 
                          
I don't know why I feel the need to deny it. Maybe because I still don't quite understand what's going on between Kelly and I. I mean Wyler. Why did I just think Kelly? This guy is getting in my head and I don't like it.
                          
"I don't care," he says sternly. "I just don't want to see you get played is all. You were a job. Remember that." 
                          
His harsh words bring me back to reality. I can't deny the fact that it's difficult to decipher between what's real and what's not anymore, especially when it comes to my relationship with Wyler. If he's been lying to me for the last several years, how can I trust that what he just told me is the truth? Then again, what does he have to lose? I understand why he lied before, but why lie now? He's lost everything. There's nothing left to lie for.
                          
"Plus, I think there are more important things you should be focused on," Kelly continues, as if he can read the ridiculous thoughts that are running through my brain. I'm embarrassed because he's right. I need to stay focused.
                          
"So then why don't you stop trying to get involved in my 'drama' as you call it, and tell me what Dr. Ivanov said." I can't help but take a jab at him. After all, he seems rather comfortable doing it to me. 
                          
"Finally, you're coming to your senses," he says, as he opens the door to his room and waits for me to enter. I reluctantly do as he requests.
                          
"Sit," he demands, pointing to the bed. He pulls up a chair in front of me, and spins it around so that he's sitting on it backwards. "I'm afraid I don't have great news," he says, getting straight to the point. 
                          
I wait for him to continue.
                          
"Environettix knows you're here and they're coming for you."
                          
"Well, that's not exactly a huge shocker. I figured they would eventually. How did they find us?"
                          
"We don't know exactly, but our people on the inside said they're coming and we don't have much time."
                          
I stand up and begin pacing the room. My head is pounding and I rub my temples, trying to think through what's happening. There's got to be a logical way out of this. I look around the room, processing what my next steps should be. That's when my eye catches the map hanging on Kelly's wall, the one that looks like a blueprint of a building or a bunker. I can't quite tell. I tilt my head to the side. Something about it seems so familiar.
                          
"We need to leave," Kelly says, jolting me out of the dreamlike memory I'm trying to recall.
                          
"What? And go where?" It feels like all I've been doing the last week has been running nonstop, whether it's from a disaster, a group of government thugs or my heart.
                          
"There's another community like ours, but smaller, just past the point of the mountain. We should be able to make it there in time."
                          
"No. I'm tired of running."
                          
"Well you don't have much of a choice." 
                          
As soon as he says those words, I realize that's what has been driving me the craziest lately: the fact that I feel like I haven't had a choice in any of this. It feels like everything is happening to me and I am powerless to stop it.
                          
"Is there any chance that in the process of all that genetic engineering they accidentally gave us Mods some sort of super power?" I surprise us both with a joke and he can't help but laugh.
                          
"Nice to see a little bit of the old you," he smiles.
                          
"What?" I ask, perplexed by his statement.
                          
"Nothing," he tenses up and turns away. "We're leaving in the morning." And just like that he's in serious soldier mode again.
                          
"We?"
                          
"Yeah, I volunteered to be your escort. Don't make me regret it." He tries to sound stern, but he lets out a small smile from the corner of his mouth. He has trouble hiding his playful side, even in a dire situation.
                          
"Why would you volunteer?" I ask, truly confused as to why he keeps wanting to hitch his wagon to my sinking ship.
                          
"I don't know," he shrugs. "What else am I going to do? Sit around here and wait to die?"
                          
"Death or helping me..." I move my hands up and down, mimicking a scale. "Must have been a difficult decision."
                          
"You'd be surprised how long it took me to weigh my options," he jabs. Then it's back to business. "We'll go over the plan and some other things this afternoon. We need to pack our supplies and we both need a good night's rest. Ivanov wants you to stay with me again tonight?" He pauses, waiting for my reaction.
                          
"What? Why?" I ask, surprised and concerned. My face feels instantly hot at the idea of sleeping next to him again.
                          
"He wants eyes on you around the clock."
                          
"Is that why you were being a creeper while I slept?"
                          
It's the first time he doesn't have a snarky response.
                          
"We can't risk anything happening to you."
                          
"Oh," I say, unable to hide the slight disappointment in my tone. As if there would be some other reason why he would want to sleep in the same room as me. Ugh! Why do I even care? Couldn't they have gotten rid of these stupid teenage hormones when they changed my genetic make-up?
                          
"Plus, it seemed like you slept pretty well last night with me wrapped around you." He raises one eyebrow and my cheeks turn red.
                          
"Well...I...uh...I..."
                          
"Relax tiger," he jokes, sensing my uncomfortableness. "I'm just teasing you. It's not like I have feelings for you." He stares straight at me when he says the last part, and while his words say one thing, his eyes seem to say something else. I can't tell if he's messing with me and I don't have the time, or the patience, to figure it out. 
                          
"Right, well, let's get this show on the road then," I say, ignoring his comment and trying to change the subject.
                          
"Okay." He grabs a bag by the door. "Follow me. We need to pack."
                          
I follow Kelly as he leads me out of the room, but before I exit, my eyes find their way back to the map on the wall. There are red markings, indicating exits and entrances, and what looks like a giant spiraling staircase. It's a map of somewhere I've been before. I know it. What I'm not sure of, is whether or not I should let Kelly know that I recognize it. My mind is wanting to recall some piece of information about this map, but there's a feeling running through my body, a feeling of being scared, a feeling that I should keep this revelation to myself. My brain wants to know the truth, but my body says otherwise. I'm waging a war within, fighting between wanting to recall my life prior to the memory re-imaging and trying to block things out in order to keep me safe. It's then that I realize I can't trust anyone, not even myself.