Signature Model.

                                    

                                          
Christian~
                          
Holding JJ to me, I let her cry it out as I process everything she's said. This is insane. How did this even happen? JJ had an IUD that was supposed to stop her from getting pregnant. We were so sure of it. We still should've been using condoms, neither of us were sleeping with anyone else, and we were so confident in that little device, neither of us thought this was going to happen. Honestly, I didn't even think this was a possibility. Kissing the top of her head, I feel her silent sob, and my heart breaks even further for her. Knowing how she blames herself is almost worse than the potential we'd lost. 
                          
We'd never talked about a future, I've known for a long time that I've wanted mine to be with her, but it wasn't ever a conversation we had. Neither of us had so much has brought up marriage to the other, let alone kids. Finding out her ring size in Disney definitely put some gears into motion in my head, but we had so little time together that nothing came from it before all of this happened. Now she's lost what easily could've been our kid. We could've been expecting a kid right now. It's fucked up that we or I guess she, didn't even have a say in what happened. That's what pisses me off more than anything, not that JJ couldn't figure out how to tell me. That, that I get, I've known her long enough to know how her head works, I can deal with her not telling me, but the fact we got no say in this, that's shitty. Knowing this is where my head's at, I can't even imagine where hers is, having to have dealt with this the last few weeks virtually on her own. 
                          
I'm not sure how much time passes before JJ pulls back, wiping her face as I crouch back on the floor in front of her. "I'm sorry," she tells me, "It's just a lot."
                          
"I know," I tell her, pushing her hair behind her ear gently. "JJ, you couldn't have changed anything about what happened, and I promise you, I'm not mad at you over how things played out. It's heavy shit, and I don't fault you for being scared. You've been through more than enough shit, and you did what you needed to do. There's nothing wrong with that." JJ just nods again, using her pinkies to wipe under her eyes again. "Do you want me to order dinner?" 
                          
"I'm okay," she replies, still wiping under her eyes. 
                          
"Are you sure?" I ask, my hand still resting on her leg. "It's really no problem for me. Have you eaten anything today?"
                          
"I'm sure," She confirms, "And not really, but my stomach doesn't feel great today either. Hopefully, that just means things are healing."
                          
"Are you eating in general?" I ask next. It looks like she's lost some weight. Unless I notice she's genuinely not taking care of herself, it's not something I'd ever point out. Her being relatively small the way it is makes any weight change a little more noticeable. 
                          
"Yeah, when I can," She replies before shaking the box of crackers, making me laugh a little as she does. Something so simple manages to be so sassy coming from her. "I promise I'm fine, Christian. I've got another season to get ready for once I'm cleared again."
                          
"I didn't even think about that. When does that happen?" 
                          
"Probably about three weeks," JJ replies, resting her elbow on the armrest and propping her head on her hand, "In theory, one, but given how much core is used to bat and everything, three is what's most realistic. That's only giving me about three weeks to get back in shape and ready to go for this next season."
                          
"Damn," I reply. She's always used softball to clear her head, so that sucks even more. "That's sucks."
                          
She scoffs, forcing a smile, "I'm aware." Chuckling, I nod before she continues, "It especially sucks since I got the demo models of my bat line, and I can't even try them. Honestly, I haven't even opened the box cause all I'll want to do is swing them."
                          
"Wait, they're here," I ask, getting excited for her and to maybe get to see them for myself. "I know you didn't want to look at them, but can I?" 
                          
JJ laughs before standing up, "Yeah, let me go get the box." With that, she heads back upstairs, taking them three at a time before disappearing around the corner. She at least seems a little excited about this right now. 
                          
After a few moments, she comes down with a long box that's thicker than I'd expected before offering it to me. "Want me to go in the kitchen or something to open it?" I offer. I don't want to ruin this moment for her, especially if she's not ready to see them yet. 
                          
"No, it's okay," she says, sitting back down, seeming to be excited for me to open them. Well, as long as she's okay with it. 
                          
Breaking the tape on the box, I fold over the flaps and am a little surprised to see three different knobs right away, "Did you know that there were three in here?"
                          
"Seriously?" She asks, her brow furrowed a little, "I mean, I'm not surprised. The box is bigger than it'd be for one. My thought was just that it'd be pretty fast for all three to be ready." Nodding, I grab the first one and am starting to examine it as it's pulled from my hands.
                          
"You really had to pull mine first, didn't you?" JJ asks, her eyes glued to the composite in her hands. 
                          
"I didn't know," I reply, laughing over her excitement now, seeing how intently she's examining her new bat. The design is sick from what I can see of it. The majority of the barrel is a deep navy blue with burgundy accents wrapping around parts of the barrel. There's a hint of white in the DeMarini logo. It's a very tame yet slick look that I'm almost jealous I'm not able to use. She'll have to finish drooling over it before I can actually see all the details. 
                          
Smiling to myself, I quit admiring her for a moment to pull out the second model from the box. The knob is silver, the weight and length stamped in the middle of it. Moving into the grey grip tape I take note of the carbon fiber design of the handle. It's a nice transition into the light pink barrel accented with light blue origami doves, my guess is that's her way of paying homage to her time in Japan. It's a cute design, "Hey, did you draw these?" 
                          
She glances up from her bat to see what one I've got, "Yeah. I wanted to do something subtle to reminisce on my time in Japan. My first idea was Cherry blossoms, which you can see a little bit in the pink of the barrel, but the actual design of cherry blossoms I feel like is overdone." 
                          
Nodding, "I like it. It's cute, but still very you." Turning it in my hands, I notice the little signature right on the sweet spot of the barrel. Chuckling a little at the placement, I look at her beautiful signature, complete with a little #13. This is incredible for her, and I couldn't be any prouder of her than I am at this moment. 
                          
"Alright, I'm done drooling over this for now," She comments, handing the first bat I'd pulled back to me. "So the one you were looking at is the bat I've been using since high school. Hence the silver knob. Until now, it was the most advanced level model that DeMarini had. It's meant to just be an extension of you rather than doing anything to try and add to or enhance your swing. It's meant for the more elite hitters. Like I'd said, it was the most advanced bat they carried until now. Now my signature model, which is this one, is going to be that bat. It's a little bit hard to tell the difference between them, but when you swing them, it's pretty obvious. Somehow with this new model, my swing speed is somehow even faster than it was, and I feel like I can get more power than I was already getting. It's insane, and it's already been approved by USSSA and ASA approved."
                          
"Damn, did you need any help with that?" I ask, chuckling as I take her signature bat. There is a subtle difference in the two I'm holding. Her signature one feels more exciting to swing already. 
                          
"No, they just let me put my name on it," JJ chuckles, "It's so insane."
                          
Handing her the second bat, I get a good look at her signature model. Her signature is on the same sweet spot of the barrel in a sparkling gold writing that matches the knob and the end cap. The shine of her model is really nice too. It's an absolutely beautiful bat that I can just tell swings well. "These are incredible, JJ."
                          
"Thanks," She says, chuckling a little as she pulls the third bat out of the box. Seeing the smile on her face makes everything seem okay for a moment. The only thing she's ever deserved is happiness, and I'm glad she's gotten a little in the middle of all of this chaos. Even if just friends is less than what I want with her, I'm more than happy if that's the compromise I have to make to keep her in my life. This might be a small win for her, but it's more than enough for me to get to see how excited she seems.