He pauses, as if waiting for me to say something. When I remain silent, he continues, "I'm sorry, okay? What I said before was really harsh and I didn't mean it. I take it back. You are my sister. You always have been and always will be. I'm sorry, so so sorry."
                          
I can tell he means it, but even though he takes it back, the words were said and I won't forget them. I can't forgive him, not yet. I'm still hurting.
                          
"Don't apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for."
                          
I slide off the counter and put the bowl in the sink. I'll wash up later. Alex comes up beside me and puts a hand on my arm.  
                          
"No, Sam. I've got a lot to be sorry for. I don't understand why, but every time something bad happens to you, you welcome it."
                          
I take a step back away from him. "You think I let Dad abuse me?" I can't keep the anger from my voice. 
                          
"No, that's not what I meant. Since your fifteenth birthday you've...allowed, no, tolerated everyone who upset you or tormented you and embraced all the pain you went through. It's like you feel you deserve it as a punishment. But you don't need punishing, you've nothing wrong."
                          
If only you knew Alex, if only you knew. But I'll give you points for being observant and accurate about everything else. 
                          
"You're crying? Again? What did I do this time?"
                          
I look at him and shake my head, still unable to smile. I run upstairs to the bathroom and wash the tear stains off my face and dry it with a towel. 
                          
I grab my bag then go downstairs and put on my coat. 
                          
"Sis, where are you going?"
                          
"Out." Isn't it obvious?
                          
"Let me come with you."
                          
"You don't need permission to leave your own house."
                          
"True, but if I join you and you'd rather be alone, I'll end up ruining your mood again. That would make it three times in one day."
                          
"If you want to come, shut up and put your coat on or I'll go without you and come back in three hours to hear you sulking about how I never let you go anywhere. And what a nice treat that will be. So either way, it'll total to three. You decide."
                          
He gets his jacket and puts his shoes on silently. If he's hurt by my coldness, he doesn't show it. 
                          
****
                          
The journey to the bookshop was a quiet one. Neither of us spoke to each other and I walked a few paces ahead of him. Once inside, he went straight to the adventure books. I went to the fantasy aisle, completely avoiding the crime and thriller books. 
                          
I scan the shelves, looking for something I don't have at home, which isn't as easy as it seems, considering the one wall in my room shelved with rows and rows of books. I read pretty much every genre, except sci-fi.
                          
I walk through different genres: romance, horror, vampire, action, adventure, historical, mystery and dystopia. I stop and flick through the books more slowly, searching for specific authors. Dystopia has always been my favourite genre. I love wondering what it would be like to live in a different world, an alien society bound by different laws and customs. 
                          
I grab a few books for both me and Alex and join the queue where I find him waiting for me, empty-handed. "Didn't find anything?"
                          
"No but it's okay. I've still got a few books at home I need to finish."
                          
"You sure?"
                          
"Yes, why?"
                          
I show him the books in the basket. His face lights up and I know as he picks one of them up, anything that had happened between us is forgiven and forgotten. He looks up at me, smiling the goofiest grin I've ever seen.
                          
"You're getting the Maze Runner series? No way!"
                          
"We've both read them but I figured you never wanted to return them to the library. At least now you can pick them up whenever you want."
                          
"Thanks. But how are you going to pay for all this?  We're buying so many books."
                          
"My birthday money. I got fifty pounds each from our godparents."
                          
"But if it's your money, you should spend it on yourself, not me as well."
                          
"Well who said I'm not gonna steal books from your room?"
                          
"True true."
                          
I pay for the books and put them in my bag which is more of a backpack. We leave the shop and as we start to head home, I see a man and a woman. They look so happy and content. That is until the man spots me.
                          
"Crap." Panic floods me.
                          
"What happened sis?"
                          
I point to the couple. Alex follows where I point and then turns back the way we came. The couple head our way. I follow Alex, willing myself not to look back. We walk onto a main road, where there's more people. We walk beside crowds and at one point cross the road. With a pram, it should be hard for the woman to catch up to us. But not the man. He is definitely somewhere behind us. 
                          
"Alex walk faster." 
                          
He obeys and even I find it hard to keep up. He must sense this because he grabs my wrist and pulls me along. Something tells me I should look back but Alex is moving faster, breaking into a jog and then a run. He turns into an alleyway and I follow. As if I have a choice. His grip is going to crush my wrist if he doesn't let go. I don't complain because I know he's as panicked as I am. 
                          
He stops so abruptly I nearly fall into him. 
                          
"Hey, what..." my words die as I look up and see who he's looking at.
                          
Impossible. We were ahead of him. How did he know where we were headed?
                          
"Hello Samantha. Alexander." He nods in greeting.
                          
There's only one person who calls us both by our first names. A person who fills me with loathing and fear. A person who fills Alex with anger and hatred. 
                          
Alaric Wilson. 
                          
Also known as our father.