Chapter 5

                                    

                                          
It's been a few weeks since the house was broken into. Nobody reported it because I refused to get the police involved and was adamant in my protest, arguing that nobody walks around in the day dressed like a thug, wearing a balaclava, so the police would be sent on a wild goose chase. I also argued that forensics would be useless because anyone who breaks in and stages an attack would be smart enough to wear gloves and not leave any traces of DNA or fingerprints. 
                          
This angered Alex, who wanted nothing more than to see the culprit behind bars. We haven't spoken to each other for three weeks. The silence and hostility are killing me.
                          
Well it's time to break the ice, I guess. I stand outside his bedroom door and take a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Come on Sam, he's your brother. You can do this. I knock once, twice. 
                          
"Alex, please open up."
                          
No answer. Either he's asleep or still avoiding me. I pray it's the former. 
                          
"Alex, please. I need to talk to you."
                          
"I don't want to talk to you or see you or associate with you in any way ever again!"
                          
"Alex, please, I'm your sister."
                          
"That's what I'm finding hard to believe. Mum never reported Dad when he abused you. For five years you were a victim and she couldn't do anything because he was too powerful, too dominant. Now that you have a chance to get justice, to defend yourself, you throw it out the window and give whoever it was another bullet to shoot at you. So no, you're not my sister because my sister would've been smart enough to report a break-in."
                          
"Alex please."
                          
There's silence.
                          
"Alex."
                          
More silence.
                          
Well that went well, didn't it? I sit against the wall and pull my knees up, curling up as tight as possible. I guess I shouldn't be so upset; I did after all deserve it. Everything he said was true. I'm stupid. I'm a coward. Damn, I even expected him to curse me. So why should I be upset?
                          
But it hurts. God, it hurts so so much. But I know he's hurting too. And it's my fault.
                          
I'm the one who made us orphans. I'm the one who lied to him. And I know he was right about the police. I should've listened to him. But I didn't. Why? 
                          
For selfish reasons- the fear that if they did find him, he would have reported me to the police.
                          
I don't know how long I sit there but when I get up my cheeks are wet with tears and I feel stiff. I hear movements from within Alex's room and that can only mean that he'll try to talk to me. But I don't want to talk, not anymore. He's probably still angry and I know how bad it is to try and talk when he's blinded by rage and hatred. He's never been like this before, at least not with me. I make it to the stairs when I hear his door open. I descend the stairs, pretending to not notice him. 
                          
I'm hungry and upset and a big bowl of chocolate ice cream ought to cheer me up. I go to the kitchen and sit on the counter with my ice cream, contemplating everything that has happened. I'm so lost in thought and ice cream that at first I don't notice Alex standing by the door.
                          
"Sis." He sounds nervous. Where did the anger go? Maybe he wants to bring peace. 
                          
"Sis." He takes a step forward.
                          
I look his way. He looks like... I don't really know, a little nervous and something else. It's an expression I've never seen him wear. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I turn back to my ice cream.
                          
"Sam, I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be. I know I hurt you and you probably don't care about what I have to say, but I'll speak anyway."