25 - Every Flight Ever

                                    

                                          
Shayne had never ran so fast in his life. He was determined to get to that plane. With the tickets clenched in his hands, he, Red, and Courtney dashed toward the large airport.
                          
They ran inside only to see it was extremely crowded. "What's our flight number?" Courtney gasped, overwhelmed by the sea of people. Her anxiety was working overtime.
                          
Shayne glanced at the tickets. "Sixty-nine." he raised his eyebrows. "Really?" he muttered. "Out of all the numbers it could have been..." he shook his head.
                          
Red was getting distracted by all of the bodies. "Whoa..." she said in awe. "People! Blood! Flesh... uh, people!" she tried to wander off, but Courtney was clutching her hand.
                          
"Red, calm down!" Courtney pleaded with her. They raced over to the security check. The guard administering it looked extremely bored as they walked through.
                          
"Next..." the guard droned, after some guy walked through.
                          
Next..." Courtney stepped through.
                          
"Next..." Red slowly made her way through, enjoying every step.
                          
Red and Courtney were through, but the guard stopped Shayne. "I'm gonna have to pull you aside." he lowered his voice. "We have to pull out one white person for every twenty brown people so we don't seem racist."
                          
Brown people? Shayne mouthed to Courtney as the guy patted him down.
                          
"I will ask, why are you covered in blood?" the guard asked.
                          
"It's ketchup," Shayne lied through his teeth.
                          
The guad glared at him for awhile with narrowed eyes, but then he brightened. "You're good. Have a nice day," the guy said. They raced past the guard.
                          
They tried to get to their flight, but they were stuck in the giant mass of people.
                          
"Excuse us," Courtney said politely.
                          
"OUT OF THE WAY, PEOPLE!" Shayne screamed. People jumped and quickly cleared a path.
                          
They got to the boarding and gasped. "Is flight sixty-nine still boarding?" Shayne asked desperately, trying to think hopefully.
                          
The woman stared at him. "Mmhmm..." she said, unnecessarily slow.
                          
They booked it onto the plane. As they were waiting to be seated, a man with a giant suitcase tried shoving it up onto the plane. Two attendants asked him kindly if he needed any help. "Nope, I've got this," the man said.
                          
Courtney and Shayne looked at one another in confusion. Where was this going?
                          
The attendants continued asking the struggling man if they could help until he exploded. "I SAID I GOT IT! I'm a GROWN MAN! I went to DeVry University!" he punched the bag repeatedly until it stuck in. "See, it fits. Perfect fit."
                          
Shayne sighed. "He forgot his earbuds," he muttered to himself. Courtney stared at him, slightly confused.
                          
The man paused. "I forgot my earbuds."
                          
The rest of the passengers groaned as he took another five minutes to get his earbuds out.
                          
"Sh(bloop)," Shayne muttered. "This is the plane from the 'Every Airplane Ever' sketch."
                          
Some people with emotional support animals made their way onto the plane. Courtney peered back at one woman who used her husband as a dog, to get out of paying for an extra ticket. Just like in the sketch, it worked in her favor.
                          
"We could have just given her that extra ticket," Shayne said.
                          
The woman's husband continued to foolishly crawl around, saying "Woof, woof. I'm Kevin. I'm a dog."