I wish I could

                                    

                                          


                          
June
                          
As the weeks went by Merlin was there, by Arthur's side serving him dutifully. He never told Arthur what he knew, at least he didn't want to yet. As Arthur had entered his fourth month, things seemed to be looking up, his sickness and nausea had almost gone, and he could eat normally again but in reality, Merlin could see it. He could see his friend getting weaker, the life draining out of him day by day, even the Knights had begun to worry, noticing their King's frail appearance. 
                          
                                                                ***
                          
One afternoon they were out on patrol; They had gotten word that a group of smugglers had been seen in the Darkling Woods, they had been there for almost two hours already and they hadn't found or seen anything or anyone. As always, Arthur led the way, Merlin at his side. Followed by Leon with Gwaine and Percival with Elyan. Merlin didn't usually come along on patrols, but this time he felt like he should make an exception. With the once crown prince of Camelot slowly withering away, and Merlin not being able to do anything about it, he wanted to be with him as much as he could, so he could protect him the way he can. And just like in the past few days, he couldn't stop thinking about what is to come. 
                          
"Is something troubling you Merlin? You've been moping for hours." Casually remarked Gwaine.
                          
Merlin hadn't heard him and his preoccupied features remained. After not receiving an answer, Arthur slapped his upper arm.
                          
"Ouch! What was that for?" He grimaced rubbing his arm.
                          
"Your head is in the clouds again Merlin, you seem to be doing that quite a lot lately." 
                          
After a fruitless search, they had begun to head back to Camelot. 
                          
"I'd rather have my head in the clouds, than up my own arse." Merlin was suddenly unnecessarily rude but that didn't steer Arthur away.
                          
"C' mon, what's on your mind? You can tell me." 
                          
The raven-haired boy stayed silent.
                          
"Is it about me? Look, you don't have to worry, I'm getting better. I ate all of my breakfast this morning." Not even the playful approach seemed to work.
                          
"It's not about you." Merlin didn't look at Arthur so that he couldn't tell he was lying. 
                          
"Well then what is it? You know Merlin, I wouldn't have to-" 
                          
Arthur cut himself off, bringing a gloved hand up to his head, he suddenly felt faint. Merlin looked at him with a watchful eye. 
                          
"I wouldn't have to...-"
                          
This time Merlin saw him blink his eyes a few times.
                          
"You okay?" 
                          
As if on cue, right after the words left Merlin's lips, Arthur felt himself drift away and his body leaned forward almost falling off his horse, if not for his servant grabbing ahold of him in the nick of time. They all stopped and the Knights helped Merlin set an unconscious Arthur down on the ground.
                          
"What's wrong with him?"
                          
Leon asked as Merlin looked over the King's condition.
                          
"I don't know, he's just fainted. We have to get him to Gaius." 
                          
                                                               ***
                          
One of them had gone ahead to inform the Physician he'd be needed. After they had gotten back Arthur was examined right away, he was now lying in the sickbed in Gauis' chambers.