{21st of May - e.c}

                                    

                                          

i can't seem to express how i feel since i was never close to you. so only through my music can i feel how much i love you. every string played, every note produced, my heart beats with it, feverishly believing that one day you'll be able to hear it. one day you'll be able to hear the melodies i play for you, the meaning and emotion that is woven between each note and a subtle message behind every phrase. and i yearn and i yearn for that imaginable reality.
                          
i saw you. i saw you every time you went to the field. i could never beat you at speed it seemed, these days you ran faster and faster to the field as if expecting someone to be there.
                          
could it be me?
                          
no it has got to be someone else. why would you be waiting for me? perhaps waiting for your girlfriend. or something. i do hear some rumours about you around the school that you used to date the popular cellist in the school, and the relationship lasted for quite long until it broke up by the end of last year. they said you could've gone back to her if you wanted to. i didn't believe all that bullshit. i didn't. why would i keep on listening to rumours that'll give me false hope?
                          
yes.
                          
why would i listen to them?

                          
i envision standing on the center stage with you, violins up on our shoulders and our bows raised high. sweat dripping down our brows and our ears filled with the encouraging roars of clapping and cheering from the audience. you were side by side with me, grinning from ear to ear and overlooking the crowd. i could envision my hand twirling behind yours and proceeding to interlock fingers.
                          
even if it's just an imagination,
my palm felt warmth.