Ch 19

                                    

                                          

"This is weird right? I mean we have a kid. We used to date I shouldn't be this nervous," I grumbled after applying another coat of mascara. "Yet here I am hands trembling like a school girl jumping every-time someone knocks on the damn door."
                          
"I think you being a little nervous is a good thing," Wendy muses. "It means you are excited."
                          
"Does it? Or is this my bodies way of telling me it's a bad idea?" I argue. 
                          
"Enough." Wendy demands. "It's coco he loves you and you love him tonight's going to go perfectly okay." 
                          
"Yeah yeah if you say so." I mumble going to change into a simple dress Letty had helped me pick out. I stare at myself in the mirror for a while trying to blink back the tears that are forming. Two years. That's how long it's been since I've been on a date. Two years of late nights talks with coco. Sometimes we fell asleep on the sofa tangled in each other arms other times he carried me to bed leaving me to my empty house. Leaving me to wonder why I was to much of a coward to ask him to stay. Two years of me not being someone's old lady. Instead it was me learning to be someone's mom. Someone's friend. And myself again. It was the hardest and best two years of my life I had no doubt about that. I think Opie would have been proud of the women staring back at me in the mirror right now. 
                          
"Doesn't mommy look beautiful Juliana?" Coco asked our toddler who was wiggling in his arms reach out for me. 
                          
"Yes!" She yelled. "Down!" He did as told and our baby girl attached herself to my leg. "I come with?" I scooped her up kissing the top of her head before turning towards Coco who was grinning at us. 
                          
"Not this time mi amor. You get to stay with auntie Letty but we will be home for story time okay." She stick out her bottem lip before nodding her head that that was okay and letting us leave. "We made a good kid. I know I say that a lot but," coco interrupted by turning to me and kissing me against the front door. 
                          
"I know I'm supposed to wait till the end of the date but I couldn't."
                          
"Kiss me again."
                          
"What?"
                          
"I said kiss me again Coco I'm done waiting."